Sassy Singleton

A REAL First-Hand Account

2005-09-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Anne Gervasi is a licensed psychologist. She donated her time and her talent working with Katrina refuges at first, Reunion Arena and then, the Civic Center. This is her first hand account and reaction to what she had to deal with. This the horror that is Dallas.

There are so many words that come to mind. As a scholar I am thinking Diaspora, social displacement, systemic disruption, mass trauma, pandemic and unbelievable chaos. As a clinician, I am looking at something that we have never been trained to handle in this country--a level of victimization and its resultant psycho-social ripples that mandate a whole new field of clinical practice-mass victimology. Katrina kicked the top off of a racist and social termite's nest that has been growing beneath the ground since Reconstruction. These were deeply religious people who have lost God and for that matter, faith and hope. Hope has been replaced by magical thinking that augurs a second and more terrible level of social disruption and anger not far down the road.
Over and over, I kept hearing a framing of self that puzzled me until I realized that this is how it must have been for blacks after Reconstruction. Over and over, people said, "everyone has been so wonderful, thank you, thank you." When I said, "there is no need tothank us, you are our fellow citizens and we want to help you--American to American," there would be a long pause as if the idea of being the same never struck them before. They are angry and it is growing. The system failed them. For that matter, there is no system because all the safeguards and preparations that we thought were in place aren't there. I have been begging anyone who would listen over the past two years for a program in mass victimology to prepare for the next tragedy after 9/11. Now it is here and the lack of organization, science, and preparation are going to result in terrible consequences for us as a nation.
Imagine sending people who have been assimilated into the most stable demographic population in America into cities and towns all over the US who are as unprepared as the victims to understand their sense of dislocation and their support needs. The lower Gulf States have a language, a history, a social dynamic, a faith, a societal structure,and a ritual system unlike any other in America. These people have lived in and been acculturated to this system for generations. When the dust settles and the mud dries, we are going to see all over America, a nation that will lose patience with the needs of a foreign refugee population. Abandoned once again, the fury and the trauma that have been momentarily quieted by the outpouring of empathy and support post-crisis, will arise larger and more terrible than we have been equipped as a nation to handle. I hear it now, over and over, in the survivor stories, in the loss of self, and the need to reclaim dignity and power.
Right now, numbness is being replaced by magical thinking. "People want me here--here is better. I think I'll stay here." What is going to happen when reality sets in? The bulk of people who are planning to stay don't understand the system here. Even though we a but borders, we are avastly different nation. At least we are southerners. What is going to happen to the thousands being sent to Connecticut or Illinois or NewJersey? They are being offered free apartments, furniture etc, by generous and well meaning people who haven't thought the long term consequences through very well. A lot of the apartments are in areas where they won't have transportation or jobs. What is going to happen six months down the road when the magic wears off and the help slowly fades? How about the holidays for a people who thrive on ritual,tradition, and celebration?
The trauma they are experiencing is so profound that we have no cultural term or machinery set up for it. The dead and nameless bodies by the thousands rotting in the water, arriving dead on the buses with them, ordying next to them in the shelters are a huge festering wound that no one dares mention. This is a true Diaspora the likes of which we haven't seen since Reconstruction. The immediate needs that are being addressed ignore the greater traumas yet to be spoken. No governmental system can survive the number of wounded and disillusioned people that we are goingto see sprouting up all over America. Something far greater and more organized has to be done.
Then to the helpers and what is happening there. Turf wars have already sprung up. In the name of "I know better than you do," chaos and wasted energy are multiplying. The Red Cross was initially in charge of certifying the credentials of the helping therapists. After Oklahoma City and the pretenders who arrived there, this seemed like a wonderful clearing house. Everyone who wanted to help had to go through a brief orientation and a thorough checking of credentials. Only licensed professionals were allowed. Driver's licenses were checked for criminal records. This seemed to be a common sense excellent approach to the question of rapists, pedophiles, and other thugs being denied access to a vulnerable population. Actually, things ran better than I expected at the beginning. Then in came the physicians who I guess felt that their non-existent coursework in this area qualified them to better run things. Immediate chaos, disorganization, and all sorts of ersatz"helpers" began running around. They grabbed our current Red Cross badges and then stopped us from going back on the floor to finish seeing our patients without the new badges, which they just happened to be out of. We had an optometrist with prescriptive lenses but no glasses or readers and no idea when he'd ever see any. We had a deaf booth but no deaf helpers. In the midst of all this chaos, thousands and thousands of the walking wounded mixing with the powerless well-intentioned came the whispered word, pandemic. Lots of people are suddenly getting sick, and we have to have precautions. Don't eat or drink or touch the patients. We only have one bottle of disinfectant in the mental health section, so come back here--the length of the Convention Center--after each patient."What of the people who are being cycled out of here?" "What are we sending into the population?" If people are sick and contagious, where are the precautions to separate the vulnerable? What of precautions such as masks and gloves to keep the medical professionals and first responders safe? All the here and now is suspended in the hope that maybe tomorrow will take care of itself and the worst won't happen. Those are the question we asked on the first day. NO ONE IS IN CHARGE!
Therefore, there is no consistent answer or approach or forethought. I am no infection guru but as soon as I heard on day one that people withno water were forced to drink water with bloated bodies, feces, and rats in it, the thought of cholera, typhoid, and delayed disease immediately occurred to me. What if the fears of disease are correct? People are fanning out throughout America. Where is the CDC?
In the age of computers, we are doing worse than the pencil squibs and the rolls of paper to log in the displaced after World War II. Literacy and computer access seems to be considered as a given for people who have lost it all. Accessing FEMA is through a website. People are in shelters waiting for FEMA to come "in a few days." "Be patient." TheLieutenant Governor of Louisiana pumped my hand and replied to my desperate queries about how to help people find their parents and babies, "Be patient--give us a few days."
The mothers who have lost their children, and there are many, and the children who have lost their parents, have had it with the "be patient"response. The shelters are surprisingly silent. It is hard to find thetraumatized mothers because they cry silently. One mother asked how patient I would be if my five-month-old was somewhere unknown for over aweek. Over and over, others would ask," Do you think my baby has milk and diapers?" "Do you think they are being kind to my baby?" And then, so softly that I would have to ask them to repeat, "Do you think my babyis okay?" My response--the convenient lie. Every time I said, "ofcourse"; I prayed to God that it was true.
I am sure that there is a special ring of hell for the media: The survivor stories end-on-end for the titillation of the public. I heard Soledad O'Brien say something about the still unrecognized need toaddress the psychological trauma. I sent a response to the CNN tip-line that there were hordes of every manner of mental health professional working 24/7. CNN's response? Dr. Phil and the stories of the survivors"on Larry King. They went to the guy who lost his clinical license forserious professional infractions to tell the stories? I could see the"entertainer" down there gathering tales of the already exploited so that he and Larry could both pimp their ratings. The real unsung mental health heroes, the counselors, psychologists, social workers andpsychiatrists dealing with un-medicated psychosis and severe traumatic responses were represented by Dr. "Keep-It-Real"? We don't need tabloid help from the media. Scream about accountability and point fingers forthose who can't. Where is the real help from the media? Help us find those babies and parents and missing family. We have a man in one of the shelters who is caring for four kids. They call him uncle. He is actually the c ousin of the fiancé of the mother who is probably dead.The children are silent. They sit and play and weep with open mouths that can't scream. Where is the media to scream for them?
Finally, to hell with this "no blame game." The stories that I know to be true are enough to make me boil. The compassionate foreign doctors who can't find anyone to validate their credentials, the expensivemobile hospital still sitting parked waiting for federal paperwork to move into Louisiana, the five C130s sitting on the Tarmac in San Diego since the night of Katrina, still waiting for orders to move. Where the hell are the beds? We have some old people sleeping on hot plastic poolfloats with no sheets. They are still no showers for people who have walked for hours through fetid waters. Their skin is breaking out in rashes. Still no showers. Where the hell are the DeCon showers bought with Homeland Security money that can shower 30 pe ople at a time. Theconvention centers have no bathing facilities so the filth and skin reactions are getting worse. What of lice? There are no clothes for the really heavy and large. I was reduced to writing the women I knew who went to Weight Watchers to comb their attics for "before" outfits. When I arrived with the sack of my gatherings, I had to engage in a fullscale battle and puff myself up to all my red-headed doctor fury to get them distributed to the women still sitting there in their stinking clothes.
The survivors are like the Mayor of New Orleans who apologized to George Bush for his anger. "If we tell the way we feel, maybe help will stop."All the apologists on the air distancing George and his co-vacationersand idiot appointees should be impeached. I liked Nagin when he called it all bullshit. He was right. How about Haley Barbour complaining about the lack of support for his state? Did he so soon fo rget his past life and what he did to set up this government of spin artists? If they had acted like a government the body count would be less. The aid would bebetter managed. The days of filth, and feces, and death would have been ended sooner. God help all of the poseurs in charge when these folks finally get in touch with their justifiable rage. Did you see the White House's logo for the hurricane? George and some asshole in a ball cap against a background of Katrina waving the flag. They had the energy and time for a nice logo but no time to get the elements of help in gear?
The tragedy is leavened by some moments of farce, the guy who arrivedwith a case of Gucci shoes in various sizes that he "saved" from his closet. The man wearing twelve expensive watches up his arm. I guess heis a punctual sort. There are the too-poignant-for-words vignettes. I saw a lady sitting on a blanket holding a photo of two children th at she had pulled from the water. She kept crying and looking at it. I thought they were her children. She didn't know whose they were. They were just losses and she mourned them.
Of course there were the criminals, thugs, and mobsters. One of the greatest indictments of the "spin machine" that is going to come from this situation will be the repeated characterizations of the victims aslawless and criminal. Over and over I heard people tell me about how ashamed they were to be portrayed that way. Ninety-nine percent of these people never were characterized as anything but lawful and good citizens. In their most desperate hours to be reduced to taking food andwater to survive and then to be lumped with the television thieves andthe shooters is too shameful for most of them to bear. I heard from hospital employees that survived on a cup of watered grits so that the patients could make it. And then I heard had they had to hide the onesthat didn't in closets to keep up the morale of the others.
The people that survived this tragedy and the people who help them all know one truth. The help and the love and the care that has beenextended to them have been on a citizen-to-citizen basis. The churches,doctors, therapists, and ordinary citizens who are giving all they can in time and resources are managing to band-aid at the most elementarylevel-neighbor to neighbor. The government has failed We are morevulnerable now than before 9/11 because faith in the system is gone. Nosystem can sustain itself as a viable entity when the citizenry are thewalking wounded. Victims implode a system from within and expose its decay. This is the beginning of the end unless we can get a drasticchange of philosophy and restore the government to a system "by thepeople for the people." Right now nobody down here believes we have that.

You're a Poop-Head -- No You Are

2005-07-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

What the hell are you talking about, you ask? Well, I WAS going to mow the side lawn on Saturday morning only to discover two huge piles of dog shit in my yard up against the side of my house. I was extremely grossed out and somewhat confused considering I don't have a dog! Needless to say, the lawn did not get mowed. And I was LIVID! Not to accuse anyone of anything, jump to conclusions, or pre-judge (all of which I'm very good at), but I find it a little too coincidental that new neighbors w/ a dog just moved in last week and now I have an issue. Before last week = no dog shit in the yard ever. Post new neighbors = dog shit in the yard. Also, not to get too graphic, but the size of the shit would fit their dog - that's all I'm going to say. Hmmm....it doesn't take a genius does it? Of course I couldn't have found it on a worse possible day. I was still feeling pretty ill and you know how it is when your under the weather - everything is compounded by 200%. I swear if the neighbors had been home I would have either (1) marched over - pounded on the door and screamed at them, (2) marched over - pounded on the front door and had a serious mental meltdown/crying fit, or (3) scooped up the dog shit and slung it at their screen door and all over their front porch. Fortunately for them, and for me, neither of the 3 happened b/c they weren't home. Although I did rant and rave to Tim for about an hour and a half after I found it and I did cry b/c well I was just do that sometimes. Tim, ever the voice of reason, says "don't jump to any conclusions - you didn't see their dog do it so you can't know for sure". OK true but I'm watching you! Honestly though, what's wrong w/ people? Oh they so disappoint me constantly. Just when I think that I can stand the human race, some jackass lets his dog shit in my yard and then conveniently forgets to pick it up. Hmph!

In True Slacker Fashion

2005-07-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

Here are my pictures from Jane's Bachelorette Party.

Red, White, and Blue

2005-07-01T02:39:00.000-07:00

Another Fourth of July in the Nation's Capital. I wonder how crowded the mall will be this year? I choose to stay away from those crowds these days. I used to think it was fun when I was younger to venture downtown and park it on the mall and watch the fireworks w/ 100,000 other people. Now -- not so much. I'll take tv fireworks over being hot, sweaty, cramped, parched, and crabby, any day. Its always good to go and say you did it once but after that no thanks. Tim and I have been taking it easy on the 4th for the past few years. Last night we were trying to remember what we did in years passed. Apparently 3 years in a row we didn't spend the holiday together as he was off "Phishing" - so who knows what I was up too. The last 3 years we've just had people over and/or hung at a friend's house. So in keeping w/ our "chill" tradition, that's what we are planning for this year as well. Tomorrow night, we've invited Jane and Kelly, and possibly a few others, over for dinner. I've been worried about this though. Out of nowhere on Tues I came down w/ a really nasty cold which I've been fighting all week. Wednesday I stayed home from work sick and yesterday I left work early - all in the hopes of fighting this thing. I tend not to get colds/the flu very often so when I do, I DO. Needless to say I've been feeling gross all week. Wednesday was the firm's summer ice cream social (they bring in Ben and Jerry's and we get all the ice cream and yummy toppings we could want). Of course I wasn't at the office. I know it sounds stupid but I really look forward to these firm events so I was pretty bummed that I missed out. Tim being the good boyfriend left Wed night to run and "errand" and came home w/ Dairy Queen. What a sweet man! There's just something so refreshing about ice cream when you're not feeling well. But I digress. So this morning, I woke up feeling somewhat better but sneezing all over myself and fighting a sinus headache and Tim woke up w/ a severe sore throat. So I told him, maybe we should cancel dinner tomorrow night considering that Jane and Kelly are getting married next weekend and we DO NOT want to get them sick. Can you imagine! What a great wedding present huh? He said no its fine so I said OK. I did write Jane today and told her that I would understand if they didn't want to brave the sick house tomorrow but she said all is well. So we shall see. I'm also hoping that we get to see Batman Begins sometime this weekend. I've heard that Christian Bale is "super-hot" in this movie so I have to go see for myself - you know to see if the rumors are true and all. Sunday, we'll be traveling down 95S (w/ half the country I suspect) to go to mom's. Mom, Dan, Tim and I, weather permitting, are planning a day trip to Lake Anna and then a relaxed bbq that evening. Monday I'm sure we'll just do some things around the house and then it'll be front row seats in front of the tv for the festivities. Before you know it, the long weekend will fade into the past as if it never happened and work will come calling once again.

On a completely different and more serious note. As I have said in the past, I've had a hard time swallowing the Iraq war. But, having said that, I have always been able to separate out my ideological differences w/ this Administration and feel compassion towards and pride in our troops. Our military is filled w/ exceptional men and women. Men and women, some of whom, have been separated from family, friends, and country for months on end. Men and women who selflessly, and without regard to their own personal ideals, fight every single second, minute, hour, and day for others. So I just wanted to let them know, in my somewhat inept way, that I will be thinking about them over this Independence Day weekend. I also want to say thank you for being VERY brave. I hope you all return home safe and sound, and most importantly, SOON, to your families.

Have a save and fun long weekend and 4th!

Whatever Happened to Spaceships in the Year '2000?

2005-06-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

I love the idea of using public transportation but I hate actually using public transportation. Take yesterday for example. On my way to work, I had decided that I would use the new park and ride lot at the end of my road. I would park my car, catch the metro bus, and ride it to the Springfield metro station -- completely normal -- used to do it all the time in Annandale. I would be behaving in an environmentally conscious manner and saving a few parking dollars to boot. Go me! So I park - I ride - everything is great. Around noon, my young family friend Rina from Williamsburg calls to tell me that she and her friend Gavin were going to be spending the afternoon at Potomac Mills and then would be attending a concert at the 9:30 club later that night - so in between would I want to meet up? Of course!!! Swing by the house for dinner on your way to the 9:30. So, I figure, I should leave work a little early (5 as opposed to 5:30) so that I can make it home in plenty of time to straighten the house a bit and make sure I've got beverages etc... So I leave work at 5, no problem. Walk to Farragut West, approx 5 minutes. Wait for metro train, approx 3 minutes. Schedule is looking good. Get to the Pentagon Station -- Stop. Start, stop, Start, stop...and not just stop this time but DEAD STOP for oh a good 10 minutes. Train operator gets on the PA, "two yellow line trains will be getting in front of us and servicing the platform before we can". Gee Thanks! So, needless to say, when I finally got to the Metro I saw the bus pulling out of the spot and driving off - without me! So I had to wait another 30 minutes to catch the next one. Oh, I was so livid! I'm sure everyone around me thought I was crazy - all mumbling to myself and shaking my head around. Anyway, by the time I got back to my car I had been commuting for almost 2 hours. 2 HOURS and in 90 degree weather! It was horrible. Fortunately, Rina and Gavin didn't get to the house until around 7:30 so I was saved there. Still had a few minutes to run by the store, straighten the house, and order the pizza. Ummm..,good pizza. I was so starved. Once I was home it was great and even better - cool! Finally, Tim and I got to catch-up w/ Rina and meet her friend Gavin.

They're so cute. Rina is 19 and will be a Sophomore at VCU in the fall and Gavin is a very HOT 17 year old boy. I couldn't figure out why she was hanging out w/ a 17 year old and now I do. HA! Anyway, they're crazy. They were going to see this band called "Love Drug" which neither Tim nor I could remember the name of. On several occasions we asked them what kind of music "Love Dragon", "Love dug", and "Love Dune" played. They just rolled they're eyes at us "God, you guys are SO old!". HA! Hilarious. They tried very very hard, well really begged, us to come w/ but Tim and I were like if we go to a show on a Monday night it'll kill us for the rest of the week. The young'uns just don't understand. They're also as I said before crazy. I asked Rina where they were planning on staying after the concert, motel, hotel, friends house etc. R: "Oh we're sleeping in the car" M: "the hell you are - ya'll are coming right back here after the concert to crash". Okay, scared myself - definitely had the mom voice. But I softened a bit at least w/ "Well there's vodka in the freezer - you guys can have it when you guys get back". Thank God! That mom voice scares me! Apparently, they had a wonderful time last night. I didn't hear them come home but I woke up around 3 and snuck downstairs to see if they'd gotten back alright - both totally passed out on the couch. I tried waking them up when we left the house this morning but they were D.E.A.D. I did get close enough to make sure that they were still breathing and to check for signs of life. I'm totally going to be psycho mom aren't I? I'll be psycho mom and the kids will hate me and Tim will be the cool dad who buys them booze. I can already see it....

Ebony & Ivory; Ying & Yang; Two Peas...Well You Get the Point

2005-06-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

Had a great evening last night catching up w/ Troy. It had been entirely TOO long again. Honestly, I didn't think it was going to happen. An attorney approached me at 5:50 (10 minutes before I was running out the door to meet Troy at Levantes) and asked me to help him find some materials that he needed "ASAP". Oh Lord, can I tell you how much I hate that word - ASAP. The little hairs on my arms stand on end - and in every heartbeat I hear "pressure, pressure, pressure, hurry, hurry, hurry". Fortunately, I located the things he needed in record time (pat on back) . I even did a little cheer in his office. I pumped my arm in the air and shouted "YAY - we did it!" (think Tom Cruise on Oprah - V Scary!). And yes, I got a strange look but whatever. I left around 6:45 and headed straight to the bar where I enjoyed a leisurely drink while waiting for Troy to arrive. It was so gorgeous last night that we decided to eat outside. We had so much to catch-up on that we definitely couldn't part after dinner. So I suggested coffee and then afterwards Troy walked me halfway to the metro. Ah...love seeing old friends! And there's more Troy time tonight. We will be celebrating Sai's birthday after work at Cafe Citron so Troy will be stopping by for the drinks "portion" of the evening. OH Lord, watch-out! I believe if Troy were a straight man he would definitely be trying to get in Sai's pants! LOL. Sorry Sai - he's MY gay boyfriend and you can't have him! :-)

Have a wonderful weekend!

In the Dog House Again

2005-06-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

Let me set the scene for you. One of the nosy neighbors has sold her house and moved to Raleigh, NC. Last Sunday our neighbors threw her a goodbye party from noon to 7pm in the common area between their front yards and my side yard (so essentially in my yard). Anyway, invitations went out about two weeks before the party. Tim and I RSVP'd saying we would probably stop by. Saturday night, as you know, I attended a bachelorette party that lasted well into the early morning of Sunday, slept a very rough 3 hours on Natalia's couch before driving myself back home at 9:30 in the morning to try to sleep the rest of my MAJOR drunken headache/upset stomach, away. Come to find out Tim and Brad had spent all night Saturday playing poker and drinking (literally everything in the house!) until 6:00 in the morning. So needless to say, but I'll point out the obvious anyway, we both felt like complete ass on Sunday and spent all day in bed. We finally started to roll around a little bit around 6pm Sunday evening, got up, ordered food in, ate on the couch, and stayed on the couch. Still not feeling sociable in any way shape or form nor wanting to see ANYBODY. Neither one of us had showered etc...anyway as you can imagine we were gross. So sometime around 8pm, Tim feeling somewhat normal at this point, heads outside to say a word to the neighbors who were still outside. Tim apologizes for us not coming out, says we were both under the weather, blah blah blah. Apparently, this SINCERE apology did not go over well. They practically ignored him when he apologized and every day since then they've ignored both of us -- to such an extreme that I'm embarassed for THEM. I mean tell me, would you all be mad and hold a grudge?? First of all, we were sick. Second of all, Tim went outside and APOLOGIZED and wished Kim good luck. Third, we are not by any stretch of the imagination friends w/ these people - we say hello etc... if we happen to see them on their front porches or out and about. Fourth, I saw Kim on my way to work Monday morning and wished her farewell and good luck. So the silent treatment? I think its absolutely uncalled for! As far as I'm concerned if they had been watching our house they would have noticed that there was absolutely no movement all day long. I'm just dumbfounded here. Were we rude? Be honest -- because I'm trying to understand where these people are coming from and if their anger is legitimate. In my opinion, if they're going to be angry then they need to be straightforward w/ it. Ugh, I hate dealing w/ people. Thoughts?

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

2005-06-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

So I have to reflect on last Saturday's festivities. The bridal shower, thanks to the wonderful hostess"ing" skills of Amber, went off w/out a hitch. There were probably 15 to 20 people there off an on throughout the evening. We cooked-out and played games etc... And of course Jane opened her gifts. Which I have to comment on. I was really surprised by some of the gifts that Jane received. There was the usual, gifts off of the registry and lingerie, but some people just got her lotions -- like the gift sets you would buy at Bath & Body Works. I just found that so bizaare. I mean, okay, so you don't want to buy her something off of her registry or maybe you don't know where she's registered but hand-lotion? At least give a gift that the couple will be able to use -- it was a bridal shower after all. Does anyone else find this strange?

After the bridal shower ended, we headed over to Nat's house to get the bachelorette party started. We had all brought our stuff over so that we could get ready together. We all helped each other pick out outfits and put on make-up. It was great -- I miss those moments w/ girlfriends! Before the limo arrived we fixed some drinks, listened to music, and gossiped about everything and everyone. We also unveiled the penis cake which Jane's mom had baked and frosted (very convincingly I might add - no one wanted to think about that!). Of course we all got a huge kick out of it b/c, well, we're silly. Jane screamed and covered her face when she saw it and then screamed even louder when she learned that her mom had made it. V funny! Tim, the limo driver, picked us up at 9:30 on the dot and we were on our way to the city. Our first stop of the night was Coyote Ugly. Boy do they know how to cater to bachelorette parties! As soon as he saw us approaching, the doorman let the bartenders know that we were on our way in. When we got to the bar there were five shots lined up for us. AND they didn't stop there, as we made an appearance on all 4 floors there were more shots lined up. The girls there are really great too. They DON'T make you feel inferior b/c they have goddess bods and you have well....not a goddess bod. V friendly! Of course there was much dancing on the bars and more free shots before we left. We were there for about 2 hours or so and then we took the limo over to IndieBlue. A new, very posh, restaurant bar by the MCI Center. Jane's sister (in attendance) knows the owner and got us our own little VIP section. V nice! We stayed there and had a couple of fabulous Blackberry Mojitos and then were on our way once again to seek out new hotspots. We were thinking Georgetown but once we got there we thought differently. Amber put it best, "everyone is young and looks like a model!". Indeed! So we piled our old, non-model asses back into the limo and went back to Coyote Ugly to shake our derriers for the rest of the evening. One good thing about multiple limo rides around the city? The free beer and vodka that we had brought for the ride. V good idea!! A good time was had by all - esp the guest of honor! And we brought her home safe and sound and not sick (Kelly was SO pleased!). That's not to say that we weren't all extremely buzzed out of our brains -- when we got back to Nat's, Jane and subsequently all of us, started boo-hooing about how much we all loved each other and how great friends are blah, blah, blah... I'm sure you can picture the scene. Kelly was like "what the hell? Ya'll just had a great time and now you're crying about it?". Well duh!! Men will never understand women will they? HA!

Pictures of our night to be posted very soon.

This Summer's Trend = Expanding Waist Lines

2005-06-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

Its Friday, its friday!!! Woo-Hoo. I've had a serious case of summer"Ites" this past week. And I've been exhausted. I so wish today was a payday. But no, I've got another week to make it through. Why am I always so broke? I ask myself that question at least 100 times a day. I try my very hardest not to be a huge consumer which means that I should be able to save right? Apparently, not. I think I'm going to go on a beans and rice diet. See if that helps. One of the interesting trends I've noticed recently at my house is that Tim and I have become quite the "foodies" in the past couple of months. Both Saturday and Sunday dinners have escalated into huge productions. We start w/ some sort of appetiser (steamed shrimp, crab cakes..), our entree usually consists of fish or steak, recent side items have included (salad, polenta, sauteed veggies), italian bread dipped in olive oil, and then desert (root beer floats, ice cream sundaes, brownies). Anyway, you name it and we've had it recently. It makes me hungry just thinking about it. The best part, I don't cook any of it!!! This is how I'm included in the process, "Trace, dinner is almost ready so can you toss the salad?". Hmm....maybe I like where this trend is going. Is it lunchtime yet?

The 80's Strike Back

2005-06-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

On my hunt for the perfect 80's attire for this weekend's bridal shower/bachelorette party, I stumbled upon some good finds at Forever 21 and Clair's. I've decided that accessories are best. I went to a few consignment stores but couldn't bring myself to buy anything (I'm really weird about germs!). So the outfit will consist of an oversized white t-shirt w/ oversized belt, white plastic earrings, big teal colored bangle bracelets, black rubber bracelets, jean skirt, and pumps. I think that'll do the trick and even if it doesn't I'm calling it "80's nouveau" anyway. Amber, if you haven't already guessed it, is throwing an 80's themed bridal shower and later that evening a bachelorette party. You know I love the 80's. The hair and clothes were a little on the scary side but the music was delicious. And who are we trying to fool? The early 90's grunge era was pretty scary in its own right too -- so there.

The bridal shower is being given at Jane's parent's house in Reston. Then that night we'll venture into the city to go dancing at Coyote Ugly and where ever else the night takes us. In between those two events is where things get tricky. Amber and I discussed getting a limo - to really do things up right (and to prevent anyone from having to drive OR take the blasted metro -- there's nothing worse then riding the metro, drunk at 2 in the morning). A friend of a friend knows a limo driver so that's helpful but it would cost us an arm and a leg to have the limo come all the way out to Reston to pick us up and then schlep us back to the city. So we thought we should meet up closer to the city and avoid breaking the bank. Our friend Nat lives on the outskirts of Arlington so I suggested that we all meet at her house (b/c you know I just take liberties like that) and go from there. Besides we want to give Jane her "fun" gifts, lingerie, sex toys etc... that night and away from any parentals. Also Amber is whipping up a penis cake -- which I think is totally hilarious. She said she got the idea from her friend "gay Bob" -- which totally cracked me up. If the "nat's house" idea doesn't pan out then I suggested that we all meet up at The Rhodeside in Arlington to commence our festivities. The general manager is a good friend of ours and I think she would be able to set some tables aside somewhere so we could have some privacy. Do you think it would be weird to hack into a penis cake in a restuarant/bar? Ah well, I'm sure all of the details will fall into place. Amber asked that I go last minute shopping w/ her on Friday after work so I'll have to leave a bit early (not too worried about that). It also means that I'll miss happy hour and a former co-worker who is coming back to visit. Oh Well -- party planning is way more fun. And if you guys have any suggestions let em rip.

Let the Debauchery Begin!

2005-06-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

So I ventured over to the Pleasure Place on my lunch break to pick up a few fun gifts for Jane's bachelorette party this weekend. As I walked down the steps towards the entrance there was a man in a business suit who opened the door for me as he was leaving. He was an older gentlemen who looked a bit embarassed about being "caught". I had to chuckle to myself. I wanted to say "get over yourself old man - enjoy - you only live once!". I grabbed an assortment of fun things: Tasty love lotions, whipped creme, penis candies (which always crack me up b/c I'm completely juvenile), and some love vouchers. OH and penis candy rings for all the girls to enjoy. Gotta spread the naughtiness - even if just a little bit. After work tonight, I'm off to Victoria's Secret to get a little lingerie to throw into the mix. Giving lingerie is the best. (I hope that one day I will receive many many many pieces of lingerie at my bridal shower -- just keep that in mind girls!) I've decided on a three part gift. One part registry, one part lingerie, and one part "silliness". Hopefully Jane will enjoy -- I know I would! :-)

Oh and ps..

2005-06-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

I made $70.00 at Saturday's yard sale. Woo Hoo! Most of what I was hawking were suits that are way too big for me these days. So I told myself what the hell, I might as well try and sell them -- make some cash. There was a ton of interest but it seemed that no one was willing to admit that they were a size 14 or knew anyone who was a size 14. AS IF!! It was nearing the end of the sale - I was about 5 minutes away from throwing in the towel - when my savior swooped in w/ a huge wad of cash and saved my day. We haggled for about 5 minutes and then I gave in to the price she wanted and she walked away w/ 5 really nice suits at a bargain-basement price. There was no way in hell I wanted to drag that crap back to the house. Plus its so nice having them out of there (unfortunately I'm dealing w/ limited closet space). A few other odds and ends were sold but nothing that I had priced over $5.00. So there are some things I'll be schleping to Salvation Army but that's okay. All in all a very good experience & I got rid of some crap!

People are Strange When You're a Stranger....

2005-06-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well the inevitable is finally happening. Tim is getting absolutely sick of his job and company (really this time!). Yesterday afternoon he spent a lot of time online researching job openings as well as scanning the Post -- might as well cover all of the bases. He's interested in a few positions so I told him that I would help him put some cover letters together after work today. The cover letter be tricky! Anyway, I think its great that he's finally sticking to his guns and possibly making a move somewhere else. I see this as a positive personal growth. HOWEVER, I am not looking forward to having a monthly cable and cable modem bill. Currently, we get about $300 dollars worth of service for free. FREE! Let me reiterate -- Not looking forward to those bills. But if its for Tim then I guess I can suck it up. And of course there's always the possibility of satellite service. Speaking of -- Last night while Tim was grillin' he comes into the house jumping around and all excited and says "hey did you ever notice that dish on our house". I'm like "no, where?". So he proceeds to drag me out the back yard, around the the back of the fence into the woods where the ground starts to slope up and points to the roof of our house. Honestly, from where we were standing we had to kind of hunch over and peer through the tree branches and leaves. Finally, I see something that resembles a dish. "Are you sure that's on our house and not the neighbors?" "Oh no, that's definitely our house." It was really hard to tell and honestly I think that's just wishful thinking on his part. Wouldn't the sellers have told us there was a dish on the roof -- or the home inspector? Regardless, I was NOT pulling out the big ladder and investigating further at 8 last night. And another thing, "how the hell did you end up in the woods to look at our roof anyway???". Strange...

Oh and another thing, one of the jobs calls for a polygraph test, "um yeah, don't think I wanna take one of those". Great, any particular reason dear?? Strange...

World Travelers...

2005-06-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

Meet my friend Amy Ewen located on the side under Fav Friends. She's a former co-worker who took the summer off to travel through New Zealand. She left to go work on a kiwi farm for a few months and then travel all over NZ. Apparently the kiwi farm thing didn't work out so now she's just traveling w/ some young people she met over there. Very Amy Very Entertaining. Have a look if you like....

Daily hum-drum

2005-06-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing particularly exciting has been going on the past few days. Tim and I did celebrate our 6th anniversary on Sunday. Although we had really celebrated over Memorial Day at the beach, we did manage to have two amazing home cooked dinners on Saturday and Sunday. Over the years, neither Tim nor I have viewed this as a gift-giving holiday but we do enjoy spending time w/ each other and getting a good meal. This year we chose to stay in. Saturday, Tim cooked steaks on the grill and we had all the fixings, and then Sunday Tim cooked blackened trout w/ all the fixings. Both dinners topped off w/ Root Beer floats -- v Yummy! Other then that we didn't really do much of anything. After dinner on Sunday night Tim went out and cut the grass. How's that for anti-climatic?? HA!

Yesterday I was pretty busy at work. I avoided the gym all day like the plague but finally forced myself to go up at 6pm. My workout ended up being pretty good actually and I was surprised to find that I could have gone a bit longer then I did but I wanted to get home to watch the first show of the final season of Six Feet Under. I must say that I was impressed. I was extremely unsatisfied w/ last season so it was nice to see the show getting back to its roots. I LOVE all the vision sequences -- they're what made the show so entertaining the first place -- you fans out there will know what I'm talking about. Hopefully, this will be a great last season. Still mad at Dave Chapelle for flaking out on us but I still love him. Hopefully, he will make a great return sometime soon too.

After work tonight Melissa, Heather, and I are going out for a quick bite and then to see the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" or just "The Pants" as I like to call it. I've heard great things and can't wait to see it. Stay tuned for my review to be published later in the week.

Tomorrow is lunch w/ Kate or "Joey" as Troy calls her. My latest newly engaged friend. LOVE her and Nathan and can't wait to help them celebrate their nuptials (date still undecided). She's like "um, how do you plan a wedding?" I'm like, "how the hell should I know?". HA!

Tomorrow night I've got to do a billion (and I do mean a billion) loads of laundry to get ready for this weekend's community yard sale. Its sounds extremely silly but I'm so excited. I've never ever sold anything at a yard sale before. Where I grew up (the country) it just didn't happen. So yes, I'm excited and looking forward to it. Normally, I just schlep my stuff down to the Salvation Army but I figure I might as well make some money if I can. I don't have too much to sell but I'm thinking a lot of clothes (hence the laundry). Tim's got a zillion and I've got quite a few which need to go. Knowing my luck though no one will buy anything and I'll still have to schlep shit down to SA. We'll see -- I've got high hopes. Any yard sale pointers from those yard sale pros out there?

If memory serves me well..

2005-06-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

but unfortunately it never does. As I looked back through my posts I realized that I never mentioned the fabulous dinner party I threw in April. It was the first of what I hope are many to come in the near future. I had decided to start out small. There were 8 girls + Troy (of course!) and Jane brought Kelly to "play" w/ Tim. Ha! As most of you know I am not the cook of the household so I was a bit nervous about cooking for everyone. Thankfully Tim stepped in and offered to grill for us. So all I had to do was throw some ziti in the oven, put together the salad, pour the wine, and enjoy my friends. Which I did very much. I have such great friends! :-) We'll be sending out more invites in the near future so be prepared to party! Hopefully some of you out of towners will be able to stop by too!

2005-06-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Beautiful friends...

2005-06-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

Teddy's gossipn w/ laura & heather

2005-06-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

Girlfriends (from L to R): laura, heather, teddy, me, melissa, troy, sai, jane

2005-06-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

TnT (bff)

Its my party and I'll cry if I want too...

2005-06-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure why I have that song in my head. I'm not having a party nor do I feel like crying but ever since I woke up its been there playing over and over and over and driving me crazy. Hoping to exorcise it from my head by blogging it.... Does this happen to ya'll? I seem to have this happen on a regular basis. I've got a case of the craz"ies" I know. HA!

So today is Saturday and I'm finally up and about. I went to bed last night at a reasonable hour but still felt compelled to sleep until noon. The boys (Tim and Brad) were up until 6 am playing poker. COULD NOT HANG W/ THAT! I don't know where they get the energy. Ever since returning from the beach Wednesday I've been dead. Had such a great time and want to go back immediately! This was only my second time camping at the beach. Well my max of camping for two nights (Saturday & Sunday) and getting a hotel room for another 2 nights (Monday and Tues) anyway. I can't sleep in a tent any longer then two nights. Plus the mosquittos, guessing this is their year to be horrid, were awful! But besides that, had a great time. There was a huge group of us (approx 30 humans + 7-8 dogs) this year. We were on the beach all day (literally sun-up to sun-down) and then back on the beach from 9-10:00pm until 2-3 in the morning -- complete w/ bonfires, smores, cooking out, lots of drinking, peeing in the dunes, and yes lots of smoking on my part (I allowed myself a "vacation" 2 packs of cigs). I didn't take too many pics cause I kept forgetting my camera but I will try to post some in the next few days. [The last time I uploaded pics I crashed the computer (blasted thing). Tim says, "you're not allowed to touch it anymore". Okay, Okay!] Anyway, its always interesting when you get that many people together. I did a lot of observing of the different dynamics between folks. There were a lot of ex's w/ the new girlfriend/boyfriends there. But everyone seemed to be on good behavior so that was nice. Isn't it awful -- but I was pleasantly surprised. Are we all finally adults???? Its a good thing!

There were quite a few people there that I had not met before or at least didn't know well. I feel like I made some new friends. There was a flurry of phone numbers and email addresses being exchanged when we left the campsite on Monday. Hopefully we'll be able to keep in touch w/ everyone. Easier said then done. I don't know if you feel this way, but making new friends is a bit like dating. You have to set aside a certain amount of time for phone calls, emailing, and getting together or your aquaintance"ship" never quite makes it to friendship. Its a strange phenom when you think about it. Remember when it was so easy to make friends? Why do adults have to make everything so damn difficult??

When I got into town on Wednesday, I had a message from Bek letting me know that JC had a baby boy. YAY! Very excited for her!!! I had a hunch she was going to have the boy/girl combo. I can't wait to meet little Gary Floyd. I hope she realizes that I'll never be able to just call him Gary cause I just love the name Gary Floyd way too much. Thanks Bek for keeping me in the "know" as always. I think w/out you I would never know what the hell is going on! :-)

I don't have much planned for this weekend. I've been on ebay all morning scoping out "80's" retro clothing. I'm attending an 80's themed bridal shower/bachelorette party in a few weeks so I'm looking for the perfect outfit. Can not be w/out the perfect outfit! HA! I found some cute things which I've got my eye on so we'll see. Gag me w/ a spoon..... Okay, that was totally lame-o but had to be said.

Anyway, I'm going to leave you w/ a few pics from the beach trip Tim and I took at the beginning of May. We went to down to mom's house w/ two other couples, Kenny & Katya, and Jane & Kelly. Unfortunately the weather was atrocious but we still had a blast! Enjoy!

2005-06-04T12:59:00.001-07:00

Good people - Good times

2005-06-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

Crazy kids hiking in the Hurricane

2005-06-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

Yep, one too many 'ritas! HA! Beautiful friends - Katya & Jane

2005-06-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

One too many 'ritas??? Mom looks happy!

2005-06-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

"hmm..." As I suspected, girls are smarter then boys

2005-06-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

"I always wanted to be a cowboy"

2005-06-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

JKTK Relaxn

First Star Wars Episode III and Now This

2005-05-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I want to weigh 100 pounds. I haven't weighed 100 pounds since I was in the second grade (I was overweight then) so I've decided that its about time to give it a go. I mean if now then when? To accomplish this goal I will have to lose 35 to 40 lbs. First things first, I will have to quit eating -- which is fine b/c it takes up too much time anyway and food is expensive and I'll need a lot of money after the fact to buy new clothes. I'm starting on a daily regimen of smoking 2 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day to quell the hunger pains (which ultimately should subside after 2 weeks of eating nothing) and perhaps throw in a couple pills or "coca" for good measure. I won't be able to exercise b/c I won't have any energy (I may experience fainting spells but who cares) that's okay anyway b/c exercise builds muscle which weighs more then fat so that will not help me accomplish my goal of weighing 100 pounds by the end of summer. Sounds like a GREAT idea don't you think?

I mean can you even imagine? Melissa and I were shooting emails back and forth today about what's going on in Hollywood these days. I mean obviously there have always been skinny-minis but have you seen the latest pictures of today's most popular entertainers? These women look horrendous. Take a look here. Its hard for me to even look at them. And the thought that Lindsay Lohan would say that she has only lost "baby-fat" is so ridiculous it makes me want to cry. Not really cry for her, but to cry for all those little girls out there who look up to Lindsay and think I want to lose my baby-fat too and look just like her. Its scary! A co-worker told me that her six year old first grade (FIRST GRADE) daughter is already asking her if she is fat!?! And this is in Catholic school -- imagine what public school must be like. I couldn't believe it. I was trying to remember when I started worrying about my looks. I'm sure I didn't start worrying about what I wore or how my hair looked until the sixth grade. And even then it was minimal and a little bit scary (feathered hair was still "in" -- scary!) When did you? Up until that point I was still playing w/ Barbie Dolls (and excuse me to all of those fems out there, I usually support your cause, but Barbie did not make me feel inferior in any way!).

I just hate this trend -- its completely devastating to our youth. What ever happened to being healthy? You can be healthy and still be trim. Why is trim such a negative word?? Personally, I like the buff look. I'm not talking Ms. Universe or anything -- those women have some issues -- but trim and fit w/ a natural healthy glow is just gorgeous. I'm trying to get there myself but you know what? I'm not going to kill myself to do it. So my advice to Lindsay Lohan and her gang of friends. Eat a damn steak already! Or at least eat enough so that when I look at you I can keep mine down.

Hiatus...

2005-04-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have decided to take a short hiatus. Things have been too crazy around here for me to post, consider posting, or find the time to post. I do have every intention of returning at the end of April so please come back to join me then.

In the meantime, take care, stay healthy and well, and most importantly enjoy life!

*Cheers*

Huzzah!

2005-03-23T06:26:00.000-08:00

NOTE: This has been sitting in draft format for the last 6 days. Um yeah, definitely on top of this daily journal thing.

Heather and I had so much fun in Williamsburg over the weekend. On Saturday we arrived in town around 11:00 got some breakfast and then headed over to CW and met up w/ Susie and Rina to get our discounted tickets. The day was absolutely gorgeous - sunny w/ a slight breeze. We definitely could not have asked for anything more. Rina, Heather, and I strolled around CW for the next 5 hours or so. We toured the Governor's Palace (still my fav bldg from childhood) and surrounding grounds as well as the town shops (of course I wanted to buy everything in sight) and finally finished the day off w/ a Tribute to Marsha Washington (one of the planned events for Women's History Month). We all knew going into it that it was going to be 90 minutes of "something". Rina thought movie, Heather and I thought play (w/ other actors). It turned out to be this little old "Martha" sitting on stage by her lonesome recalling stories from her life. At times it was really interesting but we only made it half way through then snuck out. To finish our day we finally did some shopping. I would have loved to have gotten some pewter - just cause its the Colonial thing - but all of it was pretty expensive so I settled for a print of my beloved Governor's Palace. I did buy a fantastic bag though. We surprisingly happened upon a great boutique that had $70-$80 handbags 70% off so we all HAD to have one. And they're gorgeous - luv it! "Huzzah!" became our buzzword for the weekend. Don't ask - it just stuck and hasn't left yet. We left CW around 5:30 and headed over to the hotel to check in - first stopping at a Sev to buy beer and cigs (yes, I said cigs - it was vacation after all). After checking in and freshening up we drove over to Susie and Nick's for dinner. They were great hosts to us this weekend. We hung there until around 10 and then went back to the hotel to lounge around and relax. Although we were exhausted, Heather and I still managed to stay up until 2. This didn't hamper our hunger in the morning though - up @ 8:45 to go pounce on the hotel's free continental breakfast. MM...breakfast - I love some breakfast these days. Sunday's activities were still up in the air at this point. We had wanted to explore Jamestown but it was overcast and drizzly so we didn't want to take the chance of getting caught in a downpour. So it was off to the Outlet Malls for more shopping. Five hours later and 100 million stores visited w/ Gap & Nine West Bags in hand we finally got on 95N and headed home. We were both exhausted but in a good way. [I hope to post pics in a day or two.]

Tim was happy to have me home. I had missed not one but two events this weekend. It was our friend Heather's surprise 30th birthday party & it was also my friend Becky's surprise 30th bday party. Unfortunately, I had to miss both because of my pre-planned trip to Williamsburg. So Happy Belated Girls! (Hopefully, Tim doesn't think that I need a surprise this year.)

Fortunately, this week has been pretty calm (knock-on-wood). I'll be having dinner w/ my old boss tonight. Its always interesting seeing Carl again. That man and his stories. He's what my grandmother would call "a character", if you know what I mean.

Spring-a-ling a-ling...

2005-03-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Heather and I are off to Williamsburg to do the "tourist" thing. It has been so long since I have been down there - which is silly considering I love Colonial Williamsburg, Busch Gardens, and Water Country. But as with everything else, there never seems to be enough time in one spring/summer to go and see/do all the things I would like. It seems I'm always wizzing by Williamsburg on my way to other places. Its also nice to have a friend who wants to do such things. Tim has absolutely no interest in doing this kind of thing. I think he'd rather shoot himself in the head. Ah well - that's what girlfriends are for right? - to pick up the slack of the boyfriends! Anyway, I got in touch w/ a family friend who lives in Williamsburg and she is going to get us discounted tickets to CW and feed us on Saturday night. Which is so sweet! I haven't seen her for a while so it'll be nice to visit w/ her and her family. She also mentioned Jamestown as another area we should visit. I've actually never been to Jamestown before - so I might have to plan another trip down to see that. I'm hope, hope, hoping that the weather is decent. It should at least be in the high 40's and hopefully any rain will stay away. I can deal w/ 40's - granted 60's would be better but 40's are okay. Anyway, we chose to visit CW this weekend because they are celebrating "Women's History Month" and this is the official "Women's History Weekend". So there should be lots of extra activities and hopefully some theatrical shows we can take in. Its just going to be so nice to get OUTOFTHISCITY even for just a long weekend.

Its been a long week. Can you tell? I must say that there have been some highlights though. Monday of course but I've already shared that experience and then on Tues I talked to one of my oldest and dearest friends - JC. That was really nice. We've been playing phone tag with each other for about a month now so it was great to chat and catch-up with her. Its so nice to have those people in your life that you are completely comfortable with and when you talk to them you just pick up where you left off. I'm so lucky to have those types of friends in my life!

After next weekend (easter weekend) I am facing a completely full schedule for the first half of April. I filled out my April calendar this morning and was like "Gad - I'm exhausted just looking at all of this". The only Saturdays I don't have anything scheduled for are April 23rd & April 30th. I'm trying to decide if I want to do some entertaining. I haven't yet had that housewarming party. Hmm...we'll have to see.

Agenda:
April 2nd: Mom's bday weekend (I'm babysitting the dogs and horses while Dan whisks her out of town for a surprise bday getaway - luv Dan)
April 8th: Duran Duran Concert
April 9th: Shopping w/ Mom & Irma
April 16th: To Baltimore for Granpa's surprise bday party
April 23rd & 30th: free (yay!)
May 4th - 8th: To Outer Banks - Mom's beach house

I guess a lot of those home improvement projects that I had planned will get pushed to the back burner - normal. Although, surprisingly, I'm really looking forward to getting into my back yard and doing some landscaping. Mom is going to help me since I know zero about plants and bushes. I'm also doing some research on bamboo fencing. I need to put some kind of barrier up along the one side of my back fence that faces the nosey neighbors. If you try hard enough, which I guess they do, you can just barely see through the slates when somebody is in the back yard. One time last fall I was out there having a cigarette when one of the neighbors yells, "hey Tracey, I never would have guessed that YOU smoke cigarettes?". Of course b/c they know me so well right? Anyway, I was pretty embarrased as I was trying to keep my closet smoking in the closet. And last week Tim was grilling some chicken outside and one of the neighbors yells, "That chickens smells damn good". Can you believe? So definitely need something for privacy. These people are nuts. And they scare me. And everytime I see them I hide cause I don't want to talk to them. Normal.

Tonight's Entree - Tits n Ass and Everything In Between

2005-03-15T21:26:00.000-08:00

Well for all the bravado I put out there yesterday I have to admit (after the fact of course) that I was pretty nervous about what last night's "performance art" would entail. As Melissa and I approached the door to the Black Cat, we were discussing what we thought it would be like. I called Troy b/c he said that he might join us. He was hilarious as usual & scared like us too, "I don't wanna see some big black crack-ho on stage rubbing all up on her vagina!". Troy of course being afraid of the vagina! LOL! I told Troy, "you should think of this as a test of something - like me". (As most people know about me - I have a very weak stomach for those things that "weird" me out.) Anyway, he didn't buy it. "Just call me if its normal!".

When Melissa and I got to the door we looked at each other and our conversation was as follows "Um..., do you still want to do this?" and I replied "um...., I don't know do you?", "Um.....". Yes, we were scared. I mean what in the hell lay beyond the door? Crack-ho prostitutes spouting poetry? Masterbation/XXX-rated porn on stage? Junkies shooting up in the hallways? Finally we said "come on let's just do it". And you know what? It was fine (and once again it was proved that I've seen WAY too many movies). Of course it also helped that there were very "normal" looking people in the audience. It was a late show, later then we had anticipated, so I had plenty of time to scope out who was there. I was very pleasantly surprised to find that the audience was so diverse - straight couples, lesbians, gays, blacks, whites, asians, hispanics, old and young. The performers were also not what we expected - goes to show not to judge a book by its cover. Most were artists or writers who had dabled in the sex trade at some point in their life either as prostitutes, dancers, or in porn movies etc...No scary crack-hos (or atleast that I could see - thank god - cause you know I would have had to run away!).

We ended up seeing 5 or 6 of the 12 performers on the bill. The first performer came out and read 4 hilarious stories she had written about her life as an exotic and peep-show dancer. All I have to say is there are some really fucked up people out there. The second performer, a guy, started off by telling us how he had been a prostitute as a woman. I didn't pay too much attention to that part (I was just thinking drag) until he said "but as you can tell I'm now a man". He had changed sexes (which I find fascinating but will save for another post perhaps). Honestly, I would never have known - isn't that crazy? You would think you would know on some level - me nope - clueless - normal. So it was cool to hear a transgendered person's point of view. He did a sing-songy rap/poetry thing. It was poignant, sometimes political, and very entertaining. He definitely had the audience going. The next performer came out dressed as a nun and proceeded to do a strip tease w/ ACDC backing her up. We loved it. Next, an Indian porn star, lesbian, comedian girl came out and regaled us with stories from her life. She was probably my favorite. Totally making fun of everything and truly funny. Then this, and I hate to say it but its true, hugely fat lady w/ a amputated leg got up on stage w/ an accordian. I had no idea what to think about this. She sang a song first and then began telling stories about her sex worker position. She was a sex-phone operator. Its really true what they say - that gorgeous girl on the commercials is not the one on the other end of the line. She mimicked a whole "phone" conversation she might have w/ a customer:
Man: so what do you look like
Her: I'm 5 '3, 130 lbs, long blond hair, blue eyes
M: Ohmygod, you sound so hot...
LMAO! It was hilarious. Of course there was more but I'll spare you the graphic details. What was great though - the men in the audience were totally cracking up - they knew it was true - they knew they were talking to her on the phone. She was also referenced in "Voices From the Next Feminist Generation" which is a book that Melissa read in one of her Women's Study courses in college (and which has now been passed onto me - thank you Mo). The last performance we saw was of a black woman who came on stage in her underwear and bra. She said some poetry and then a taped conversation came on in the background of her having sex w/ a "john". There was supposed to be a visual too but fortunately the projector wasn't working. I got the gist of what I would be seeing and didn't have to see it - if you know what I mean.

And that was it. I was glad I went. You know how I said it was fine earlier? It was actually better than fine - it was fun and awesome and I felt cool for having experienced something different. Plus some of the money went to HIPS which is an organization that helps to promote HIV awareness and teach prostitutes about health issues and how to take care of themselves. In a society where prostitution exists that is definitely necessary! And besides I think prostitutes should get more credit - I mean I don't want to be having sex with those freakidy freaks out there - do you? I didn't think so. All silliness aside, the life of someone in the sex trade is not an easy one - nor is it romantic. It can be harsh, abusive, humiliating, and painful. Some choose the profession on their own accord and others are pushed into it because of poverty, drugs, or even family. I did learn through last night's experience that a whore is not a whore is not a whore.

As a side note: they were selling t-shirts that said "Be Nice to Sex Workers". That's awesome. I didn't buy one but I'm contemplating getting some made up. You do know what you're getting for Christmas this year don't you?

I'm a HIPster

2005-03-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, fortunately I'm really not a HIPster but I'll be attending an event w/ Heather and Melissa tonight to help support their cause....

HIPS:

HIPS mission is to assist female, male, and transgendered individuals engaging in sex work in Washington, DC in leading healthy lives. Using a harm reduction model, HIPS’ programs strive to address the impact that HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, discrimination, poverty, violence and drug use have on the lives of individuals engaging in sex work.

Tonight's Agenda includes:

"The Sex Worker's Art Show brings audiences a mesmerizing cabaret-style event featuring music, spoken word, burlesque, video, baddass poetry and other performance art; as well as a visual art display that travels with the show. The artwork and performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work from celebration of prostitution and sex positivity to views from the darker side of the industry"

...So not only is it a good cause but perhaps I'll learn a little bit about burlesque or tips on pole dancing -- if you know what I mean. Ooh La La...

Peter Fox Around the World

2005-03-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

If you find Asian life and culture intriguing then you should check out my friend Peter's blog. He's a coworker who recently left the firm to travel abroad for six months, mostly through Asia and South Africa, to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. Talk about a trip of a lifetime! I am so jealous. I tried to get him to pack me in his suitcase but alas he was backpacking.

Anyway, you can find Peter's Blog over there <--. He has already written some interesting stories about his arrival and the city of Hong Kong -- sounds so beautiful. I may have to put that on the "to do" list. Enjoy!

Freakin Weirdo

2005-03-09T00:57:00.000-08:00

So I went through all of my old posts and [DELETED] anything that talked about work or mentioned co-workers by name. I figure I'm fine if I talk generically like "I was really busy at work today and "Susie" and I had lunch at Thai Bistro". Just can't afford to take any chances. I'm such a worry-wart freakidy freak!

School Daze

2005-03-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

I have finally come to the conclusion that I must advance myself educationally. I've done a lot of research recently on the many MBA programs available in the Washington DC area. All are good and unique in their own way so its been a hard decision. But I've decided to go with the school UMUC where Brooke and John are pursuing their MBA. I've heard so many good things from them that I definitely wanted to check it out. For starters UMUC's MBA program is offered either completely online or a combination of online and classroom. I love the idea of the online environment. The program is extremely intensive and requires a lot of personal-time course study but I feel that I am ready and disciplined at this point in my life to do it. The law librarian at my office, I just learned, is an adjunct professor for UMUC's undergraduate legal studies program. She doesn't mince words. She told me that it was a good but hard program but if I was able to put in the time required etc... I would be fine. So UMUC is it - barring any unforseen events like they don't admit me. So now that I found the school I have to finish the application. The first hurdle is the personal statement. Undergrad or Grad its all the same. Ugh, it seems like a piece of cake but its very easy to lose your way while writing one of these. It must be the perfect mix of this is who I am, where I'm going, and how you can help. I spent about 3 hours this morning getting the foundation of the statement put together. Now it needs to be tweaked and I need some outside review. I'm hoping to have the application submitted by the end of the week. Then we'll see what happens. I'd like to be enrolled for the summer session. Since its going to take me approx. 3 years (part-time status) I needed to have gotten the process started last year instead of this year. But as with everything school is a timing issue. I learned that my freshman year of college at Radford. Ready to be away from home and party - not ready to work and participate in class. Bad girl, bad girl....
Speaking of Radford, a new President was hired in March. A Woman! The first woman in the school's history. I'm so proud. Go Penelope W. Kyle! I'm sure you'll do great things for RU.

And the Oscar goes too...

2005-03-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

Feb '05 Gala

Why its us of course! Here's a picture of Tim and I from Feb's Gala event. If we look a little startled its because his work hosted an "Oscar" themed event this year. As you arrived you walked down the "red carpet" and the "paparazzi" jumped out from behind columns and potted plants to snap your picture. As you can imagine we had NO idea what was happening at first but after we realized the theme we thought it was pretty fun.

Not the Gingham idiot - this Season its Jail-House Blue

2005-03-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

Is there anyone out there at ALL besides myself who thinks that it completely unbelievable that someone who gets convicted of a crime, gets released from jail, becomes more popular and much richer then when she entered? You know I'm talking about Martha Stewart. What does this teach our children? Its okay to lie about something, be a complete tyrant, and an awful employer - because in the end you'll have all of your desires met? Where's the dignity, humility, and pride in our society? Or is it truly all about consumption?

C.O. N. G. R. A. T. U. L. A. T. I. O. N. S.!!!!!

2005-03-03T16:33:00.000-08:00

"A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy - the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love."

I love that quote. I absolutely can not believe that I forgot to congratulate Brooke on her pregnancy! Sometimes I have to admit that I'm terribly daft. I guess I was holding onto that knowledge for so long that I didn't want to give it up just yet. Congratulations are definitely in order! I have been so excited for her and John ever since I found out. Brooke has been dying to have a baby so she is absolutely thrilled, and a bit nervous, about the pregnancy. But I have no doubts that she and John will make the most loving, supportive, and COOL parents! I can not wait to meet baby Scheppelle in September! :-)

All this baby talk has me thinking, okay well now is probably the time for you to start thinking about having a child. But I just can't picture myself having a baby. Maybe its just because my circumstances are different then everyone else that I went to college with - in that I'm not yet married. Or maybe I'm lacking the mother gene. Do women really lack the mother gene? I do know that I don't want to have a child unless I'm married. This is not to say that if I accidentally got pregnant I would terminate, because I certainly would not at this point in my life, but marriage would be the ideal situation. This is not to take anything at ALL away from those single parents out there especially considering my childhood. But coming from a single-parent background I have learned a few things for myself. I absolutely think its necessary to have two loving and responsible adults in a child's life. I'm not suggesting that it has to be a woman and a man but two of something. I was fortunate because although my father was not a part of my life when I was growing up my mom was smart and created a great support system for herself and me. I'm so glad that I don't have to imagine what it would have been like to not have had that. But for myself - I have absolutely no desire to be an unwed mother. While you are in the situation you think nothing of it because its normal. But in recent years I have reflected back and realized just how incredibly hard it must have been for my mom. She really lived for me and that was it. She was and is an amazing person and mother.

I just can't help but wonder if all those years between the ages of 16 and 24 of swearing up and down that I wasn't going to have any children has become somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I always thought that was just some psychology mumbo-jumbo!

No surprises here....

2005-03-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

You scored as Middle Class. You're content in your position and would prefer a house or a family than a seven figure pay cheque. But you have your moments of weakness when you buy a lottery ticket in the hope of knowing how the rich and famous live.

Middle Class

67%

Upper middle Class

63%

Lower Class

50%

Alternative

38%

Luxurious Upper Class

25%

What Social Status are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

(courtesy of H's Livejournal)

Well, I certainly wasn't expecing THAT Answer...

2005-03-02T20:40:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S YOUR MENTAL DISORDER?

You scored as Eating Disorder. Congratulations! You have an eating disorder! You know what it's like to have "fat" eyelids and that there's exactly 58 calories in one medium-sized green apple. Western society has discarded your well-being for sickly, paper-thin models and celebrities; welcome to the club, sister.

Eating Disorders

67%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

50%

Borderline Personality Disorder

33%

Unipolar Depression

Antisocial Personality Disorder

Schizophrenia

created with QuizFarm.com

(courtesy of Heather's Livejournal)

Sick Day or Sick in the Head?

2005-03-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

I decided that today would be a sick day. Everyone in my office has been coming down with something or another so I figured it was time for me to do the same. Besides I wasn't feeling ALL that great when I woke up this morning, rolled over and hit the snooze button for the fifth time in a row, AND my throat was sore. You know the rest....

Even though I felt pressured to do things around the house I did take it easy today. I always feel all this pressure now. Ever since I bought this house I feel guilty if I'm home and not doing some sort of project. Its really bizaare. I mean honestly, I am a great pro at sitting around and doing nothing. I have practiced this non-activity since birth. But these days - nope - gotta be on the go, running around, fixing this or buying that. Like I said its just bizaare. I'm hoping that this "affliction" wears off at some point. It would be really nice to sit on the couch without feeling guilty about it. Tim of course feels none of this guilt. He certainly manages to get his Tiger Woods '05 playing time in. Men - Hmph!

I also find home so boring during the work week (hence filling it up with chores). I surprisingly find myself disliking daytime television more and more. I used to be a soap girl but have long since given that up. I tried for a year or two after college to tape my soaps and watch them in the evenings but sometimes I would forget to tape them or watch them and get behind and blah, blah, blah...it never worked out well. So eventually I just gave up and figured that my soap days were over. Besides, in my opinion, "Days" has never quite recovered since Marlena was possessed by the Devil and recently there was a serial killer who killed off all of the old and middle-aged people and left just the kids. The same kids, mind you, who two years ago were still in diapers and now somehow have been transformed into voluptious hotties. Only on daytime tv. Then there's Oprah, who I still love but can't stand to watch anymore. Its either celebrities or Dr. Phil. Nothing substantial, or at least not when I'm home to watch. I've also gotten bored with all of TLC's daytime shows. I used to love to watch all the "Stories". A baby story, a wedding story, a dating story - you name it and there was a "story" for it. Now I feel as if I've seen them all - there's seems to be no more unchartered territory on TLC. So after a dissatifying run with the tv I popped in a DVD. The movie was called "Saved" and thank God it was entertaining because I kept finding myself going back to the freezer over and over again for those Thin Mints I stuck in there last week. (I've decided that "sick" days are NOT good for the waist line!). Then I figured that I should get on the phone and call some friends that I had not talked too in a while. I tried calling JC but of course she didn't answer - so a vm was left there. I called a friend in TX but she didn't answer - so a vm was left there. I got desperate and called a family friend who I don't think I've talked to in over 2 years - guess what? - not there! Obviously, I was the only one not busy today. Finally, I got someone. Troy! I always knew I could count on him. So after having a nice long chat my chit-chat quotient has been filled for the day. And now, sadly, my day is over. Funny how fast they fly even when you're doing absolutely nothing. So tomorrow morning its back to work. But you know where I'm headed right now, don't you? Yes its true, back to the freezer to finish off those last few Thin Mints. Cheers!

Password please

2005-02-23T19:02:00.000-08:00

I totally forgot my password for this thing. Its only been a few days since I've been on but I was drawing a complete blank. I hate how you have to have a password for absolutely everything these days. I logged onto the Washington Post website today and low and behold it requested my email and a password. It wouldn't let me go any further without providing one. I was so mad - I mean its a newspaper for goodness sakes - who gives a shit??? By the time I'm done setting up all of these passwords (b/c each one has to be unique and un-hackable) I've completely forgotten them all. AHHHH! Can you tell I'm frustrated? Okay, enough ranting.

Saturday night's Gala went off w/out a hitch. I did wear my bridesmaid's dress from Brooke's wedding along w/ Melissa's brooch and it looked really stunning. I got a ton of compliments - which pleased me. My hair looked nice too. It was the first night that I had fixed it myself so I was a little nervous about it being all over my head. But no - good things there too. I would share a pic but I'm just not motivated enough. Sorry! Just think, next time ya'll see me it'll be a surprise. Better than the cut - no more roots! :-)

I finally decided to do something about my washing machine. I found a website that sells every kind of part you can imagine for appliances and bought the do-hickey (technical term: actuator-lid switch) which I hope will get my washing machine spinning again. I washed our comforter on Sunday and it took all day (literally!) to dry the thing. I can't be having those kinds of electricity bills on a monthly basis. So now the question is can we get the new part installed? I'm sure ya'll are dying to know so I'll keep you posted. LOL. My exciting life you know!

Speaking of exciting, I've got a very full calendar for this weekend. Friday night includes another farewell happy hour (yes, everyone is leaving it seems). A coworker, P, is leaving the firm to travel around the world for six months. No exaggeration - he's flying all around the world. The big trip before he decides what to do w/ the rest of his life. I'm so jealous! What a trip of a lifetime. AND, why didn't I think of that when I was his age? Oh yeah, I was broke - normal! So anyway, as is tradition, we will be sending him off w/ a happy hour. Melissa is playing hostess this time and we'll be having drinks at a new place that just opened up called Cloud. Its where Cafe Savino used to be in Dupont Cr. It sounds pretty cool. Its "loungy", w/ lots of couches and beds. Yes, I said beds. Weird I know but supposedly true. They also serve Tapas which I love so I can't wait to try it out. Then Saturday night, Heather is hosting a "Girls Leave Your Man @ Home" night. Which I think is hilarious! There will be dinner, dancing, and an overnight hotel stay. I'm pretty sure that I'll only be attending the dinner part of the evening but I can never say never. Girls nights are the best! Then Sunday its off to the Wizards game. It starts at 6pm so we'll probably head down to DC early to get a bite to eat. Even though it was great the first time, I'm not settling for game food this time around. Definitely want a proper dinner!

So snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. They're predicting up to 6 inches in our area. It would be so nice if the Federal Govt would close for one day. That would be heaven!

Six long years and then Cut to the Quick

2005-02-18T00:13:00.000-08:00

Friday: looking forward to the weekend, nervous, can't sit still

I did it - I still can't believe I went through with it but I did. I had 8 inches cut off of my hair. I had long hair for six years and now its gone. At first I loved having long hair, but it sort of became a security blanket for me, and I definitely fell into a hair rut. Today, I decided, was to be the day to start a new hair era. I love my stylist Sean at VSL in Dupont Cr so I knew that I could trust him to do a good job. I told him that I wanted to go short but still have hair long enough to wear in a ponytail when I workout. So we decided to go with a cut that falls just below my shoulders (and he updated my color - thank God!). I'm very pleased with the look. There are a lot of longish layers throughout and the color looks great. I've decided that this was my last blonde highlighting session for a while. I'm thinking that next time I would like to go dark brunette w/ some red highlights. Or maybe more of a caramel color w/ light highlights. But we'll see - it'll probably take me 10 more years to get the courage to do that. Long gone are the days when I would dye my hair bleach blonde and then Auburn (or Sparkling Shelly as G would say) on a weekly basis. Now I'm just a big ole' wimp when it comes to change. Blah!

Saturday: black-tie, champagne, caviar, and lipstick

Tomorrow night is Tim's work's annual Gala event. Its something that he and I look forward to attending every year. Its a big swanky party w/ great food, music, open bar, and prizes. One year we won a 37 inch tv. Tim always moans and groans about it though b/c the following year they gave away an HDTV. But hey, it was free dammit - and its nice - be thankful already! Usually I run out and buy a new dress b/c if not for this occasion then for when right? But this year I decided that since I'm trying to be more financially conservative I didn't need to purchase a new dress. I already have at least 5 cocktail dresses sitting in my closet ready and waiting to be worn. Barring any last minute anxiety attacks and frantic rushes to Macy's I'll be wearing the black, floor-length, two piece dress that I wore for Brooke's wedding. Its a really nice outfit and I think it'll do fine. The top still fits me well but the skirt is a little big now (yay). I'm hoping that I can just pin it to stay in place. Since the dress is all black and doesn't have any embellishment I'm going to jazz it up w/ a friend's crystal broach (mine is missing a stone right now - sad!) and a red wrap. I think it'll do just fine. Each year the Gala event has some sort of theme. For the past 2 years they've had a casino theme. You know we loved that. This year it seems they're cutting many corners and are trying to be a little more frugal. The company is going w/ a karoake (sp) theme. This could be a complete disaster or a surprising hit. It'll be interesting to see which way it goes. Either way I'm sure it'll be entertaining. There's nothing like drunk, non-singin fools up on stage trying to sing GB's "Friends in Low Places" to get a party started! Hopefully Tim and I can resist that urge.

Back to Reality....

2005-02-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

Well its back to reality. It certainly was nice to have a long weekend. Tim and I really enjoyed our time in Atlantic City and he says that he had a great b-day. The Borgata is very swanky. Our room was amazing, dinner at the Metropolitan was delicious, and the atmosphere was very clean and sophisticated. We left on Sun around 12:00 and got up to AC around 4:30. I drove us all up there and it was smooth sailing. We couldn't believe our room. I mean, granted the hotel is brand new, but the room was gorgeous. It didn't take us very long to get motivated to leave it though as we all had our agenda. Jane and I, as is tradition for us, got all dressed up in our cleavage bearing tops and cute little skirts. The boys wore jean and t-shirts (normal!). We were starving so we headed downstairs for dinner. We decided on the Metropolitan for Tim's b-day dinner. He enjoyed it as did we all. I spied a chocolate cake on the desert menu so I told him we had to come back later for his b-day cake. On the way to the restaurant we passed by a place called the Gypsy Bar. It had every kind of Tequila you could imagine in the window. So I knew that's where we would be heading at midnight for Tim's b-day cocktails. It wasn't long thereafter that the gambling began. We all started on the Roulette tables. I think roulette is a lot of fun but I never win any money. Its always up one round and down the next. We wanted to get in on some of the Craps games but it was looking way too complicated for me so Jane and I headed to our favorite table - the Blackjack table. We proceeded to sit there for 3 straight hours. Which is not what you're supposed to do - at least if your going by the book. You're supposed to take a lot of breaks and change tables frequently. But you know what? That doesn't really work for us. For one thing, there are just too many people clamoring for tables to be able to pick-up and move on to another one (esp at the low-end tables like ours - $15 min bets) AND most importantly we like to know where and when the waitress is coming w/ our drinks (as in gimme all those free drinks biatch). Lastly, who can leave a table when they're winning? Its crazy I tell ya. At some point the boys went downstairs to get in on some poker. By the time they came back around midnight - 3 hrs later - they were getting the pants beat off of them. Pitiful! LOL. Tim decided it was time for those b-day cocktails so we headed over to the Gypsy Bar for a few shots of Tequila. Actually, it was Tim and he had 5 shots - Eck! I was very happy sticking w/ my vodka tonic! He loves his tequila though. He and the waiter were talking about all the different kinds for like 20 minutes. We joked that it was like the wine conversations in Sideways. We hung out there and danced around until closing and then headed back to the Metropolitan for Tim's cake. Why stop there - it was vacation - so after consuming cake, mozarella sticks, and fries, we headed back to the tables. Jane and I didn't stay out for very much longer. After Jane got a good look at her winnings ($500) and I counted mine ($200) we decided that we should call it quits and not tempt fate. See the trick is to hide your chips from yourself - that way you're always surprised at the end of the night by how much money you've made. It works! Kelly came to the room around 4:00 and Tim didn't come back until 8am. Yes, 8am. He was so exhausted. He kept trying to win his money back he said. It didn't work! Pitiful! LOL. But he only lost what he brought to lose so that was good - don't lose the house dammit! But I do have to say that although the Borgata is very nice and new and there were good things about it - the gambling wasn't great. It was really really difficult to get a seat at a table and the dealers weren't at all chummy. They also had this scam that if you sign-up for the hotel card you would earn points which you could comp for free meals etc... None of us, after playing for at least 5 hours each, earned any points. It was completely ridiculous. Tim was telling everybody and their mother that it was his birthday and nothin. Also, the slots are cash free. So you don't get that awesome "clank clank" change sound in the till when you win - it was sad. So we all decided that next time we're headed back to the Tropicana. The rooms are cheap and clean and the gambling is good. And hopefully our favorite pit boss will still be there the next time we make it back.

I was so exhausted when we got back on Monday night and on Tues I just basically floated through work. Today, I'm feeling like myself again. I forced myself to work out and I'm hoping to do the same tomorrow. Or is it Yoga Thurs? I can't remember. I brought in some yoga/pilates videotapes and a few of the girls at work and I have been doing them once a week on our lunch breaks. Its actually kind of fun to get together and do that kind of thing. Now if only I were limber enough to get my leg behind my neck. Hmm....

All Gidy with Excitement

2005-02-12T21:01:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow is the big day. Tim, Jane, Kelly and I are on our way to Atlantic City. All of us are excited. We had a great time when we went for my birthday last year (Nov). We're hoping to have another great time this weekend. Some friends are already up there (Bek & Luke) but unfortunately we won't be able to hang out w/ them. They'll be leaving as we're arriving. Oh well, hopefully another time. She and I are talking about trying to plan a group trip up to AC in the next few months. That would be very cool. So everyone - keep it in mind!

I was hoping for a breather this past week but wasn't able to get it. Work was pretty hectic and every time I tried to get on here at home our internet wasn't working. I really shouldn't say its our internet, the problem is really w/ our modem. Even though we only bought it 4 months ago, Tim says that it's bad. It wouldn't have been as upsetting if Tim had filled out the warranty paperwork and sent it in as he said he was going to do but he didn't. So now we have to go buy a new one. Its one of those things - I knew I should have just filled out the paperwork myself but I wanted to believe....

[DELETED] So what better way to forget about the pain (me too!) but to go out for cocktails!?!

I planned a small happy hour/farewell/send-off gathering at the Front Page Thurs after work for J. We ended up having a really really good time. I, of course being the old lady of the bunch, headed home around 8:30 like a good girl. The young'ns, so I heard the next day, stayed until 10:00 and then half of them went to one's house and stayed up the rest of the night. I'm like, WOW - I'm impressed & you guys are seriously crazy! Surprisingly everyone made it to work the next day (w/one arriving late after having to take care of "some medical issues" - LOL).

Today Tim and I cleaned the house. It was pretty nice out so he pulled out the steam cleaner and went to town on the downstairs carpet. Its amazing how quickly the carpets get disgusting. It wasn't that long ago that he steam cleaned. I absolutely can not wait to get this carpet out of my house. I've decided that I hate carpet. Before the house in Annandale, I had always lived in homes w/ wall to wall carpeting. The Annandale house was a change of pace b/c the upstairs (the floor that Tim and I occupied) was all hardwood. I loved it. It felt so clean and gave a feeling of continuity and openness throughout the house. I also loved buying area rugs. It's so easy to change the theme of a room just by buying an inexpensive area rug. Another plus, if it gets stained you can just throw the damn thing away. Obviously, you can not do that w/ wtw. So the plan is, to take whatever money I get from this year's tax return - which hopefully will be pretty sizeable - and have hardwood put down on the main level. This of course may not happen if my priorities get shifted but I'm hoping it does.

That reminds me, I am having my first major "I wish I still had a landlord to call" issue. The washing machine has stopping working - or more specifically spinning. Tim and I realized that the little do-hickey on the lid that makes the washer spin when the lid is closed was broken off and the previous owners had shoved a pair of nail clippers in the hole to get it to work. Obviously, that little bit of ingeniousness is not working any longer. So I called the Home Warranty Company to find out how to go about getting the thing fixed. Background: the previous owners bought me a one year home warranty on all the appliances etc... Anyway, so the Rep says that it'll be $100 dollars up front just to get the repair guy out to the house.
$100 to drive 5 miles, ring my doorbell, and walk through the front door. Now I know what business I should be in. BLAH! I talked to mom about the situation b/c you know I have to call my "Mz. Fix-it" whenever I have an issue. She said that I could probably buy the do-hickey from Sears for about $5 and Tim and I could replace the part ourselves. So we're going to give it a go. That way at least we'll know that we tried before we shell out $100 for a $5 part. All I have to say is that repairman better be a good piece of eye-candy and sans plumber butt! :-)

I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy some quite time with that special person or persons in your life!

Guinness Book of World Records - The Longest Blog in History

2005-02-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have made a return. Its been a while I know. After I made a promise to myself not to blog at work under any circumstances I haven't seemed to find the time or strength to get on here. I'm going to continue to try my hardest though. I do like it - if nothing else its somewhat of a creative outlet - which is nice. I've always wanted to keep a journal but have never been able to stick to a nightly regime of writing. I've started on multiple occasions but alas, for naught. So anyway here I am - hopefully to stay for awhile! :-)

Here's the low-down on what's been going on w/me for the past week or so.

Thurs: almost the end of the week, high energy, good news

[DELETED] I got the raise that I requested. Thank God! [DELETED] I

Fri: end of the week, fun, let's party

[DELETED] happy hours for us every Friday starting at 5. Its all you can drink beer and wine plus whatever food they order for the day. Sometimes its fanc"ier" (dim sum) and sometimes its not (pizza) but I always look forward to it. [DELETED] Buffalo Billiards from 5 - 8. It included food, all you can drink, and unlimited pool. It was fun. At one point, I actually got on a table (you thought I was going to say "and danced" didn't you?) and sank 3 balls in a row. Can u believe it? I'm about the worst pool player there is. I was proud though - everyone was oohing and aahing for about 5 seconds. I'm like that's right biatches! j/k LOL. It was fun. Everytime I play pool it reminds me of endless pool games at Riley's (I wasn't any good then either - sigh - nostalgia kicks in). I must say, that I do have fun w/ my co-workers. Most are a lot younger then me but they definitely help to keep me feeling young at heart. Afterwards a few of us walked to Mackey's on L and then back to Porter's on M for a few more drinks. I was surprisingly - OK considering. I was home by 11:30 and in bed by 12:00. Tim didn't even miss a beat. He's totally obsessed w/ Tiger Wood's '05 for playstation. I don't even think he missed me - punk ass! I missed him on Sat though.

Sat: warm, beautiful, exhausted

Sat I got up entirely too late - close to 11:30 I think. I was mad at myself. I noticed on my way to work on Friday that I had a bubble on my the front passenger-side tire. Needless to say I was driving more like a grandma then usual. Anyway, I had wanted to go to get a new tire EARLY on Sat morning to beat the rush. Of course that didn't happen. But fortunately for me (or unfortunately - however you look at it) I was able to get my car in and out of Merchants Tire & Auto w/in 20 mins. Please don't ever go to Merchant's. The tire was cheap - a plus - but now I have to take my car to the dealership b/c its not running right. I know, being the conspiracy theorist that I am, that they did something to my car. Unplugged something, poked a hole in something, took my car's good/new parts and exchanged them for old rusty parts. I knew I should have just gone to the dealership but I was being cheap! NORMAL. I never seem to learn. So I'll be dropping my car off at the dealership tomorrow. Hopefully, all will be well.
After Tim and I got home, he started preparations for that evenings entertainment. He and a group of his friends who hardly ever hang out anymore had planned a card night. He was so excited! I swear they were worse then girls! Everyone night someone or the other would call the house and discuss Sat night and what card games they were going to play and who was bringing what food etc.... It was hilarious! Every day he'd ask me "so what are you doing on Sat". Me: "Oh nothing" T: "Oh well don't forget I'm going out w/ the boys - he he he!". LOL! Honestly, I was really excited for them. Its nice when old friends can hang - I know that I always appreciate it. And I made sure before shooing him out of the door, to instruct him that he had to get all the gossip on everyone. AND that included asking follow-up questions. I mean really, men just do not know anything about getting good, juicy details. But he did a good job and I was proud. He came back w/ lots of good things to say on Sunday! My gossip quotient was sufficiently satisfied. LOL! My night other the other hand was very quite. I was still pretty tired from the night before so after I did some household "chores" I rented and watched a couple of movies. I highly recommend "Win a Date w/ Tad Hamilton". Then I went to bed and died.

Sun: even more gorgeous then Sat, driving driving driving, then lazy lazy lazy

Sun I drove down to my mother's house. My grandmother has been staying w/ her for the past few weeks so I had to get down and see her. I would have gone sooner but we had snow the past two weekends and I didn't want to take any chances. I got out there around 1:00 or so and Dan, mom, grandma, and I sat outside on mom's back patio for hours. It was so beautiful. Mom gave me a t-shirt and shorts and I tried desperately to soak up all the sun I could in 2 hours. There's simply nothing more pleasurable than the first warm spell of the year. Mom made a traditional German meal - which I was thrilled with. Sour beer and potato dumplings. I can remember as a child thinking how disgusting it was. How in the hell could anyone eat this crap? Now? Love it! Its amazing how our tastes evolve as we get older. Then I junked out on chocolate chip cookies. NORMAL. After dinner we all watched a movie. It was "Out of Time" w/ Denzel Washington. Has anyone seen this movie? The opening scene is of Denzel having sex w/ someone. It lasts forever, or seems to last forever, when your half blind half deaf grandma is sitting beside you asking - "so what's going on now? "TRACEY, did you hear me? I can't see what's going on - what are those noises?" "Is someone being killed?" It was horrible! But I made it through - I kept laughing & coughing really loudly hoping to distract her! Ugh!

Mon: long week ahead, worked-out, avoided the red-velvette cake, tired

So here I am. Today was a typical Monday for me. Did not want to get out of bed this morning - NORMAL! But I had a productive day and I blogged! Yes! AND I now think I have carpel tunnel syndrom - so I must rest!

2005-02-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

I became obsessed last night - worried to death that my office would locate my blog and I would become the next "girl on the hill" who was fired over her blogging. While I'm not sleeping and blackmailing co-workers, nor have I said anything too terribly bad about the office, I have mentioned some negative things. NOTE: My office seems to have ears in the walls and snoops on the waves. It might be fine if I would remember to delete my searched internet sights before leaving every evening but of course I don't. So from now on I will be posting from home. Certainly not a big deal. Maybe if I only post 2 or 3 times a week from home my entries will be more substantial, humorous, and insightful. OR it could be a complete bust and I'll just vacate all together. But who knows - there's something interesting that I'll be discussing in the coming weeks.

I'm sorry to see some of you have left the blogging world - especially when I enjoy reading your entries so much! Oh well, perhaps a comeback is in the future. But if not its been great fun and you'll be missed! :-)

Atlantic City Dreamin

2005-02-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for Feb 13th to get here. We're headed back to Atlantic City to celebrate Tim's birthday. I'm excited. This time we decided to stay at the Borgata which is the newest fancy- schmancy hotel in AC. The last time we were up there we stayed at the Tropicana. It really was a lot of fun and I would recommend it to anyone - but we wanted to change things up a bit. Besides, we did so well there that we're afraid that the "house" might have it out for us this time! So its off to the Borgata. We got a pretty reasonable rate considering that we'll be up there over Valentine's Day weekend. I think we're paying around $250.00. But its nothing really b/c we're sharing our room w/ another couple. Gotta have the gambling funds! :-) If all goes as planned we shouldn't be spending too much time in the room anyway. Tim has already said that he will not be sleeping that night. Um, we'll see about that!

Now, we just have to get ourselves out to Vegas. I've only been once and Tim has never been so he's jonesing for it. Vegas is amazing. Its like a whole other world. Its not even about the gambling for me so much as the walking around and touring all the hotels, shopping, eating, shows, etc... I was so disappointed that I was not able to see the Cirque De Soleil show when I was there. That's definitely on the agenda for next time. Now I know - order tickets in advance. I did see the "Follies" and the Vegas Show Girls. I enjoyed them both. We also took two days trips out into the desert. One day we toured Hoover Dam and the other day we took a horseback riding "adventure" out into the desert and surrounding countryside (read: they put me on a nag!). The landscape is certainly beautiful and amazing in its own way but I don't think I could live in a place void of any green. Its just brown - as brown as the eye can see. But its worth the trip!

I was trying to convince Jane that we needed to go to Vegas for her Bachelorette party (she and Kelly are getting married in July) but alas, we're headed to New York City. She's wants to dance on the bar at Hogs n Heffers (sp?) and take her bra off and throw it on the rafters. This being what you do there apparently. You better believe I'll be wearing 2 bras that night. One nasty holy bra to throw at the bar and another one to wear - I mean do these girls go bra-less after??? Yikes - not me!!!! LOL. Besides, I've only been to NYC on a couple of occasions and only once since I was legal. I know we'll have a fabulous time! Vegas can certainly wait - besides maybe the next I go I'll be getting married by an Elvis impersonator. Stranger things have happened...

2005-01-31T14:30:00.000-08:00

Stolen from Heather's Live Journal cause I'm not creative enough to come up w/ my own entries *snicker*:

LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason ( I just luv Colin Firth!)
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW: Its a Girl Thing
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Parchese
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Real Simple
FAVORITE SMELLS: Cut Grass, Tim's cologne, any kind of baking
COMFORT FOOD: Mashed Potatoes, Chocolate Cake/Chocolate Chip Cookies
FAVORITE SOUNDS: The ocean
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Feeling like nobody cares
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING:
"Must pee!"
FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE: Arby's & Wendy's
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME(S): LaWanda (jk)
FINISH THIS STATEMENT: "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I WOULD": Pay off all my debt, buy a house, and TRAVEL (Good Answer Heather)
DO YOU DRIVE FAST: Nah. I sit all up on the windshield - Weddle used to make so much fun of me.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL: Just Timmy!
STORMS -- COOL OR SCARY: Depends on if the power is out...
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: Red 1987 Subaru Justy
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: At the moment: Dirty Martini - its so much trouble! Oh, and keep um coming...
FINISH THIS STATEMENT,'IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD LOVE TO': Spend more time with my mom, grandparents, and Irma
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: Yes, I don't discriminate
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE: I don't like to dye just highlight & blonde
GLASS HALF-EMPTY OR FULL: Half Full
HOW MANY CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN: 5
FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX: On the beach, under the hot sun, listening to tunes
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Basketball
WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: Artwork - we have way too much
TOILET PAPER/ PAPER TOWEL --- OVER OR UNDER: Over

B to the E - Beer for Discriminating Tastes?

2005-01-31T10:11:00.000-08:00

From Today's Post:

"At first, beer with caffeine sounds like a terrific idea. With caffeine in your beer, you can stay awake longer and do many delightful things, such as drink more beer. It's a beer-drinker's vision of heaven. Homer Simpson would love it...."It's a wonderful feeling,"..."Sometimes beer makes you sleepy or sluggish, but with Moonshot, you feel alert. You can go out and dance and have fun instead of falling asleep on the couch." Alas, there is a potential downside to this great breakthrough. Drinking too much beer sometimes makes people do stupid things, such as fighting with strangers. Or sleeping with strangers. Or calling your ex-girlfriend at 3 in the morning to tearfully beg her to come back -- a supplication frequently accompanied by a dubious promise to stop drinking. Until now, beer guzzling was a self-regulating activity. Sure, drinking too much made you do stupid things. But drinking too much also tended to make you fall asleep before you got into trouble. Passing out is nature's way of saying you drank too much, and it has saved many a beer drinker from acute embarrassment. But with caffeine keeping beer drinkers cranked up, there's no end to the fun. Which could get ugly. "

Well hell, what am I going to blame my bad behavior on now? Hmph, always trying to change a good thing. Don't they remember the New Coke experiment in the 80's? I think I'll stick w/ my "Normal". Bitter, salty, cotton-mouthy, run-of-the-mill beer....now that hits the spot!

2005-01-30T19:02:00.000-08:00

I can never tell these days if its PMS, over-sensitivity, irrationality, or a realistic sense of what's happening that makes me get so upset these days. There's this really strange situation w/ a group of my mom's friends that I've been dealing w/ for the past year. Usually I can just blow it off but sometimes when I think about it I just get so upset. Last Jan I went to a wedding w/ my mother for one of her old co-worker's daughters. When I was growing up, my mother used to be really good friends with 3 or 4 couples who lived in and around the Sterling, Herndon, and Reston area. Although we didn't live close to them, we were always out there visiting or vice versa and all the kids would play together We were all around the same age and some of my fondest childhood memories involve those kids. I used to think of us as having grown up together. Unfortunately, as things go, I lost touch with a lot of them over the years. As we grew up and had more and more obligations it was hard for us to get together, some of the families moved away, and life just took over. Since I graduated from college, I have seen them a couple of times at weddings and baby-showers etc... Nothing ever seemed out of the ordinary to me (although I will be the first to admit that I am somewhat clueless). Anyway, so I went to this wedding with my mother last Jan because Dan had no desire to accompany her. Quite honestly, I really didn't want to go either, but I didn't want my mother to go dateless and I thought it would be nice to see everyone since it had been such a long time again. During the the cocktail hour we all gathered together and I couldn't wait to chat and catch-up w/ my old friends. I wanted to know all the usual things - how they were doing, how are the kids, are you still living in the same area, how's work?? etc.... Not one, and I am not exaggerating at all (not even the parents of these people - my mom's friends) asked me how I was doing or what, where, or even who I had been doing for the past 3 years. They didn't even ask me if I was well - something I would ask a stranger. It was horrible! At first I tried to explain it away - this just could not be happening, I had to be misinterpreting the situation. Perhaps I wasn't leaving them with any openings to ask questions, I mean I know I can dominate a conversation sometimes, so I started to drop hints like "so Tim and I blah, blah, blah". No questions about, "who's Tim". I would ask "so where are you working these days?". No questions for me in return. I was so hurt I just couldn't believe it. I mean they weren't even being polite to me! I wasn't even being given the basic interest one would give to a total stranger! I pulled my mother to the side and asked her if she realized what had been going on. At first she was like "huh?" but then she too realized that I was being snubbed. I almost started crying - it was so hurtful and horrible. I just ended up leaving before the reception began. Since then my mom has seen and talked to these people a few times. According to her they never ask about me or say anything - its like I don't exist. And I get so mad at her. I always ask her "how can you be friends w/ these people when they totally snub me for no good reason?". She doesn't get it! Its the most bizaar thing. She's just like "yeah that's weird". So, she calls me tonight. We were only on the phone for a few minutes when she says "Oh so last night, Dan, grandma, and I went over to Kathy Croisant's house" (she's one of the snubbers - my old friend). "You have just got to see their house - its so big and beautiful and her husband is so good-looking and nice etc...". I said, did they ask about me? Did you at least tell them that I bought a house - that I'm doing OK for myself? "Um...well I think Jim and his wife asked how you were doing" I think? I said, "look I don't want to hear anything about them. If they don't care to know how I am doing then I don't want to know how they are doing - PERIOD. End of story!" I mean where the hell is the loyalty after all??? Am I wrong? Like I said before, I could be completely blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Maybe they're just rude people. Maybe I only care that they snubbed me b/c it was me. Maybe I had snubbed them in the past and didn't realize it. Whatever the reason, it just sucks.... I'm not sure why I care so much, I know I shouldn't, but I just do. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she's great. But when it comes to this one situation I just don't understand her at all - and that just seems very unfortunate and sad.

Converted...

2005-01-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

I think I've totally been converted. Tim suggested that we roll our asses back up to MCI tomorrow to see another Wizards game since we had such a great time on Wed. We'll have to see if we can get tickets but I'm certainly giving it some serious thought. Tonight we're going to Reston for drinks w/ friends. Under normal circumstances I definitely would not be hauling it all the way out to Reston for drinks but this is a special occassion. Our friend Amber is visiting from Norfolk. She's great - super girl! So it'll be fun to hang out w/ her, Jane & Kelly, and others. Jane & Kelly are the couple that we primarily do "couple-things" with. They're also our traveling buddies. Multiple times to Atlantic City (again this coming Feb), Miami for New Year's in '03, and many other small trips here and there. Single friends are great but its nice to have "couple" friends too! I know my "marrieds" can appreciate that! Know what I mean? Happy Friday!

No words.....

2005-01-27T10:08:00.000-08:00

AND He changed his mind about killing himself... I just can't get over this story today. What is wrong w/ people? I am so sad.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/27/national/27derail.html?oref=login

On a brighter note. Tim surprised me w/ Wizard's tickets last night. Not being a fan of most sports (at least for extended periods of time) - I actually really really enjoy watching the Wizards. So this was a great surprise! He was able to keep it on the DL until yesterday around 3:00. That's when we discussed where I would meet him downtown for "dinner". He was supposed to be picking the "restaurant" and said "Hey, I found this great place on F street - isn't that close to your work". I was NO I work over by Q & P streets. He was "Oh yeah, well I really want to go to this place (totally made-up name of restaurant)". So I was like "Ok, want me to meet you at Metro Center by the MCI exit". As soon as I said that it dawned on me. Hmm...Metro Center - MCI center - the Wizards! Melissa can vouch that I was so excited and would have been thoroughly disappointed if my hunch hadn't turned out to be true. The game was so awesome! Because it takes forever for Tim to get into the city, we just narrowly made it to the game by 7:00 so there was no time for real food. Instead we chowed down on arena goodies. Honestly, though arena food and over-priced arena beer all help to make it a great time. AND it helps that we won - Yay! I just luv Gilbert Arenas too. He's a hottie!

Pleasantly Surprised

2005-01-25T16:58:00.000-08:00

Tim surprised me today by actually offering to come into the city tomorrow night for dinner. AND he's even going to research and make reservations somewhere. I offered some suggestions but he said no that he was taking care of it. I was shocked. For those who do not know, it usually takes me hours of begging and pleading to get him to come to DC. Its not that he doesn't like DC but he works in Reston so by the time he gets off from work, drives to the metro, and arrives downtown its about 2 hours worth of hell for him. He can't stand it and I don't like putting him through that. So I don't push the issue. I usually fly solo for a lot of the events that I attend after work (happy hours, parties, and such...). So you can see how I was so surprised when he told me that he's coming into the city tomorrow night to take me out to dinner. I don't have to do a thing except show up w/ my appetite. I could certainly get used to this!

Thin Mint Surprise...

2005-01-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

I just remembered that those rascally Girl Scouts showed up at last Friday's happy hour and enticed me to buy not 1 or 2 but 3 boxes of girl scout cookies. Damn, but they're good salesmen! Knowing to show up when inhibitions are low! :-)

Ain't it the truth...

2005-01-24T01:01:00.000-08:00

To impress a woman:

Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand.Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

To impress a man:

Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV

Deep Thoughts...

2005-01-23T21:31:00.000-08:00

Rich stopped by last night to say a quick word to Tim and I. He hadn't been to the house yet so it was nice to see him. He's a cool guy - someone that Tim has known since high school. It seems like Tim has known everyone since high school and sometimes even from what seems the beginning of time. It still amazes me how we can go anywhere, and I mean absolutely anywhere, and Tim will know someone. I, on the other hand, know no one. Normal. Prime example, the last time we were on our way to Atlantic City we stopped at a gas station in New Jersey and as Tim and Kelly stood outside smoking a cigarette this guy approached the car and said "hey, aren't you Gulbicki? Man, I haven't seen you in years". Happens all the time. Tim was a pretty popular guy in high school and has continued to make a lot of friends along the way. Many through Phish. Who would have guessed that I would end up w/ a Phish-head? Although, deep inside I do like to think that I always had some hippy"ness" in me. Who knows why things happen as they do. I like to think that all things happen for a reason. People drift in and out of your life to teach you things - positive and negative. And baby, do I ever believe in Karma. It'll bite you in the ass every single f-ing time! But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, Tim. I'm thinking about him tonight because he's been at Brad & Adrian's watching football all day (thankfully, b/c I can only take so much sports). Anyway, I was kind of bored and missing him so I started thinking about his birthday and Valentine's Day - both of which are Feb 14th. I've already got his birthday present covered. We're heading back to Atlantic City again with friends the 13th and 14th. But what do I do for Valentine's Day? I want to get him something that expresses the way that I feel for him. It doesn't have to be expensive or luxurious but something that says "thank-you for everything" and "I love you". Hmm...I've gotta give it some serious thought. We've been through a lot together. Our relationship has had many ups and downs and twists and turns like everyone's but he is truly a very generous, thoughtful, genuine, sincere, and open-minded person - all to which I am grateful. Its interesting to compare and contrast who I am today with who I was yesterday when he and I met. In a lot of respects, I'm shocked by some of the things I used to be, do, or say, but then again I'm also sad that I've lost some of that naivete. Its amazing how much growth happens in your twenties. No one ever really talks about the craziness of a person's twenties so I just assumed that it was going to be smooth sailing. Wrong! I don't think there's been another time in my life where I felt so out of control and scared but yet excited, assured, and unafraid - all at the same time. Its definitely a strange mix. And Tim has experienced all of that with me. I am definitely thankful to have had him there with me, by my side, through so many uncertainties. I know I could have done it by myself but its just so much nicer to have someone there with you to share the burden! He's also been very influential in helping me to expand my horizons by meeting different types of people. Tim, being the one that knows at least one of every type of person who exists in this world, has introduced me to many people. Some I've become good friends with and some of course that I haven't but they've all been interesting people none-the-less. I'm sure its all a combination of age, life, and maturity but I like to think, and I hope that, I'm a much more open-minded person then I used to be. I used to try to fit people into little boxes. If you do this or that or hang out w/ that person then you are (a) or (b). Now I , excuse the pun, try to think outside of the box. So what if you do this or that or hang out w/ so and so it doesn't mean that you are that "thing". Its definitely been a good lesson to learn. I certainly can't say that I'm never catty because sometimes being catty just feel so good. But I often try to stick to the high-road these days. So back to the original question - what gift expresses all of this thankfulness? Does satellite radio say, "thank-you, you've been the best, and I love you"? Maybe to a man...

Inaugural Day & Differences of Opinion

2005-01-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

"Four more years" will ring out today from the White House down to the Capital. There are many of us who will receive this w/out enthusiasm. My only hope? That honesty, intelligence, rationality, logic, integrity, humility, credibility, and responsibility somehow find their way back into our political system. Those are the morals and characteristics that I value. Until tomorrow...

Let it snow....

2005-01-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

It is so gorgeous outside today. Certainly not temperature wise - but its snowing! I love to watch the snow falling. There is something so nostalgic about it-totally reminds me of being a kid and how exciting it used to be when it snowed. Staying home from school and making snowmen and snow angels. My mom even made this milkshake thing using fresh snow. She used to send me outside to scoop it up. "Avoid the yellow snow" she would say (you know what that was). Now that was certainly good advice! Thanks mom. Today of course there is no staying home from work. But at least I can stare out my office window and see it falling! Ah....I'm thinking a nice cup of hot chocolate w/ marshmallows is in order!

2005-01-19T09:51:00.000-08:00

Man, this thing is killing me! One of these days I'll get the font size just the way I want it. More to follow...

More Friends...

2005-01-18T10:18:00.000-08:00

Some more friends have been added over <--. Finally! Amy, I actually thought about you on Friday when I added people but I couldn't remember your blog address. I depend on my work computer way way too much!

What a great long weekend! Slept in everyday but still couldn't manage to drag my ass outta bed this morning. Why is it when your running late so is everything else (ie Metro)? One good thing - no one watches my comings & goings at the office. I'm starting my day finally....I mean really - I did need coffee and a good chat first to start my day! *wink*

Motivation...

2005-01-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, what an incredibly productive night.

First and best accomplishment of the evening: [DELETED]! YAY!

After a great dinner out at Mike's, I dropped Tim off at a friend's house and came home to [DELETED]. I had a heart-to-heart w/ myself (and my checkbook) this week. [DELETED] around especially if I plan to do all of traveling, saving, and home improvements that I have on my "to do" list. [DELETED]

Second Accomplishment of the Evening:

I actually figured out how to put some links onto my page here. I know its probably simple for the techies but I'm pretty proud of myself considering that I have absolutely no HTML experience/training and being the person that finds this kind of stuff pretty intimidating. So now I just gotta get out there and find some more good reads...
(Bek/Ro: let me know if its okay to have you on here. Also, don't be surprised to see that I was testing w/ your pages a 100 times. Maybe just a little OCD over here.... :-)

Now I'm off to pick-up Tim and tomorrow I'm shopping w/ mom. I hope she buys me good things! LOL.

Random Thought for the Day...

2005-01-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

What is the one "beauty" thing you wish you had never started? Mine: plucking/waxing my eyebrows. I hate it so much. Its so tedious and time consuming! AND as w/ everything - once you start you can't go back. Hmmm...or can you? Shall I bring the Unibrow back into fashion? It looked good on Frida!

Week in Review...

2005-01-14T13:31:00.000-08:00

Every Jan for the past few years it seems that Troy and I have gotten together (either by ourselves or w/ others) and have gone out on the town - you know - to start the year off w/ a bang! :-) Last year we were at Ozio w/ some of my friends from work and this year we were at Logan Tavern, Halo, Cobalt (though the memory gets hazy at this point) and then Cyberspot for not 1 but 2 double-expressos (in Troy's attempt to sober me up so that he could roll me onto the metro and push all buttons. HA!). We were extremely silly and "sweetly" amusing to others I'm sure, but we definitely had a great time! I of course having slept on Troy's "C O U C H" on Tues did not make it into work on Wed. Ah, but what can you do? Besides that's what sick leave is for AND it was way worth it! Honestly, the best part though was jumping into bed w/ Troy in the morning as we cracked ourselves up over the previous night's antics. I haven't laughed that hard in a long long time. Now, I'm not allowed to hang out w/ Troy for another six months - you're such a bad influence!! LMAO! It was great to see him and catch-up it had been too long!

Speaking of Ozio - I'm back there tonight for "Teddy's Farewell Bash". She's one of my co-workers which I love and will miss dearly when she leaves next Tues. Granted she's only going upstairs to the firm that shares our building but still it won't be the same w/out her here. Slowly but surely people are migrating upstairs. First Heather and now Teddy. Who's next?

2005-01-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

I keep getting these notices from Radford University wanting to verify my current address. I guess after I graduated I had never notified Alumni Services of my address change. So anything they were sending me went to my mom's house. Of course, when Mom and Dan moved to the new house I didn't think to change my address then either. But they got a hold of Mom's new address and have been sending me the usual there - the university magazine & alumni notices etc... which I do like to look through. I mean I'll probably never go to an alumni fuction (unless all of my friends are there) but its interesting to see what's going on, what improvements have been made to the school, and who's gotten married etc... (located way in the back of the mag - on the off chance of seeing something interesting pertaining to youknowwho). The last time I was at mom's she gave me a notice from Radford that stated if I did not update my address and telephone number w/in a certain amount of time I "would be promptly cut off from all mailings!" While I know this is certainly an attempt to extort money from me, I hate to cut all contact w/ the school. I mean I did spend the vast majority of my "growing up" years there. Its not like I'll ever see "The Shelton Hall of Criminal Justice" w/ the kind of money I have to donate. Ugh....wasn't the five-year plan of tuition enough?

Flock of Seagulls...

2005-01-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

I'm so completely DEAD! Even though its Thurs I'm still DEAD from Tues. A lot of great stories to share...they'll come at a later time.

Tues. night music club...

2005-01-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

Troy & I friends forever!!! Logan Tavern, Colbalt, and DIK bar! The rest is history!

We don' luv dem ho's!!!!!!!!

2005-01-11T19:49:00.000-08:00

2005-01-11T13:52:00.000-08:00

Well I'm off to dinner w/ Troy. I haven't seen him in ages! Okay, I'm somewhat exaggerating - since my b-day (November). But that's still a long time for us. I wonder what we'll get ourselves into? I'm thinking Asian or Mediteranean. Tim is so wary of trying any new foods that I get so excited when I'm going out w/ one of my friends who isn't. Yay for exciting friends! A dirty martini or two may also be on the agenda. Bon appetite!

2005-01-11T00:44:00.000-08:00

Bek asked an interesting question today. If you know something about someone, should you butt your head in and tell that person to whom you know something about, or just keep your mouth shut. This is definitely the ultimate question among friends. Ten years ago I would definitely say "nope leave things as they are - don't get involved". But as I've matured (or at least I hope so) I've come to the conclusion that it is always better to get things out in the open, air any grievances, even if it might mean the end to a relationship. We all know how things can "fester". It isn't pretty and in my experience it can actually make a situation worse then what it originally might have been. Funny how the mind works - especially if you continue to play a situation over and over in your head - it can morph into something completely different and horrible. Its also a good thing to spill the beans if it opens up a line of communication which might no longer exist (ie. so and so is upset at you b/c of whatever & I thought you should know b/c I don't think what you did to so and so was intentional - you should probably talk to him/her about it and clear the air). A lot of times I think the person being accused of something is totally clueless and should be given the option of defending said actions or appologizing profusely for them....(as is usually my case being one without the brain/mouth-thinking before you speak filter)
Regardless - just my two cents. Good Q Bek!

2005-01-10T16:15:00.000-08:00

Well I guess I hit a nerve w/ someone. After all this is only MY blog. Mr/Ms. Unknown, if you hadn't guessed, has been blowing up my Comments. Makes me wonder why someone would choose to read let alone take the time to comment. Can we say extremely inarticulate? Oh, and I just love the accent written into the text -- very "authentic". Its pretty humorous really. What's wrong w/ people? I guess now I'll have to figure out how to put this thing on lockdown so only invited guests can read or chat. All it takes is one bad apple -- what a shame.

2005-01-10T13:34:00.000-08:00

Sounds like good advice to me....

(unknown source)

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. Before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel!

My Turn...

2005-01-08T11:26:00.000-08:00

My chance finally? Brad and Jen have split. I'll be off to CA now!

Wonderful Friday

2005-01-07T09:23:00.000-08:00

Its finally Friday. I'm very very happy about that. On Monday morning I didn't think I would be able to make it through 5 long days. I think humans seriously suffer from w/draws after the holidays. Fortunately, MLK day is only 2 weeks away and I'm already looking forward to it. I think I'm going to try to paint this weekend and next. The previous owners of my house were the worst painters I've ever seen. And this is coming from someone who had never in her whole life, until September, picked up a paint roller and painted a room. They definitely had good ideas about what they wanted to do but the execution was not good. The entrance foyer, stairway, and upstairs hallway are painted a really pretty dark red almost burgundy. The dining room & living room are painted in a sueded dark khaki almost gray (depending on the light) -- its pretty. The rest of the rooms are painted in a light silvery shade. I think its called "moonlight". When I moved in I had I decided that I only wanted to paint the 2nd bedroom b/c it was a pale baby blue. A very appropriate color for a little boy's room but not for us. So I painted it this darker blue/gray color. Tim wanted to help but bless his heart he was just throwing paint onto the walls -- giving me a complete heartattack. So I designated myself as the "official painter" in the house. Tim is assigned other duties like trash and dog-poo patrol (yes, the neighbor's dogs poop in our yard -- very frustrating -- but that's another story). So anyway, after living in the house for a couple of months and really looking at the existing paint job I've come to see that I have to do a lot of touch-up work. Maybe they were planning to do edging around the ceiling and baseboards but just didn't get to it. I don't know but its pretty bad. Honestly, I don't mind doing it though, it makes me feel like its mine you know? My only concern -- that I won't be able to find the exact color red. That would be terrible.

Besides painting I don't think anything else is on the agenda for this weekend. We're thinking possibly a movie tomorrow night. Tim was given 4 free movie tickets probably back in Jan of 04 and has been hoarding them (he's a hoarder). You should see what he does w/ scratch off tickets -- scratches off one square a day for a week. He's crazy! Anyway, I'm hoping that since there seem to be a few good movies showing he'll actually let us use them. I really want to see Spanglish or Ocean's 12. I've never really gotten over my obsession w/ Brad Pitt. He's just too beautiful!

We probably won't be hanging out w/ anyone else this weekend, which in a way is good b/c then I won't be tempted to smoke. I've had zero cigs all week so I'm pretty happy. Its true what they say every time you stop and then start back up again you smoke more. I've definitely seen that pattern. So this one has to be for keeps. My true test will come next Friday night at Teddy's Farewell Bash (as I like to say since I'm a co-host). I must be strong. I've read that if you quit completely by the time you're 30 then your lungs will pretty much recuperate. Don't know if that's true but I'm choosing to believe it.

A Fling Anyone?

2005-01-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Is anyone interested in this?
http://dir.travelzoo.com/Vacations.asp?intCategory=56&id=174489
Heather and I are looking for a possible 4th person. You know there will always be excitement when traveling abroad w/ T (those sidewalks are monsters overseas!). LOL. Let me know.

ps: I'm such a novice - I don't even know how to hide the link. Any tips of the trade?

'05 and counting...

2005-01-02T18:11:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope that everyone had a fun and safe night and weekend!

It took Tim and I forever to make plans for NYE. We knew that we wanted to do something but we just couldn't figure out what we should do. We received a lot of invites from friends to stop by for cocktails but I really wanted to go out and hear some music. Although, we obviously weren't going crazy like last year (Phish concert in Miami + a week in Key West), seeing a show on NYE is truly the best. We went and saw a reggae band, Israel Vibration, at the State Theater. We had a really good time! Our friends Kenny & Catya, Willie & Melanie, Cam, and Kevin joined us. The booties were a shakin' mon. It was awesome! I will share the group picture if I can get my hands on a copy. I, of course, forgot my camera - normal. Don't be surprised though, Tim and Cam are flipping the bird. Why can't boys just take a nice picture?

So I figured that I might as well do it -- create the list of New Year's resolutions. I know they're silly and no one ever sticks w/ them but they are tradition after all. And even if I said I wasn't doing it this year I would still be mentally putting the list together so I might as well get it out in the open. Who knows something might stick and if it doesn't so what everyone needs goals.

RESOLUTIONS - short and long term goals:
I'm off cigarettes (2 days down - so far so good),
Update my resume (just cause you never know),
Investigate how to make myself more financially secure (currently reading: Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach, 1999),
Focus more attention on exercise, health, and emotional well-being,
And lastly, after taking a hard look at lessons learned from the past year, here's the kicker:
Don't allow life to get too consuming.
Live in the moment as much as possible.
Reconnect w/ old friends and norture new friendships.
Be true to myself and those that I love.
Stand up for what I believe in but be tolerant of other's opinions as they are as valuable as my own.
And finally, to try very hard not to take the every day for granted.
None are easy tasks but are worth while nonetheless...

In conclusion, I have to say that I have a pretty good feeling about 2005. Could there be a better way to start off a new year than w/ 70 degree weather in Jan.?

Weekend Review...

2004-12-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

Well I guess I can go back and update on how my Holiday weekend went since I sort of skipped over all of that yesterday. I was sooooooooo ready for the weekend to start. Thursday's work load was hell. I was expecting it to be since the week before Xmas has always been awful in year's passed -- but it would have been nice to have a slow and easy day for a change. Thursday after work I met up w/ Heather and Melissa for a drink at the Front Page. I was so ready for that drink. I could taste it on my lips on the elevator ride down (is that weird?). Ha! Anyway, we had a great time exchanging gifts and getting to hang out a while before we all went our separate ways for the weekend. Thanks for the book Heather - I'll pass it along after when I'm done. I of course having said that I was only going to have 1 beer ended up having 3 beers and 3 tacos. The cool part - only having spent $6. I'm thinking that the Front Page is good for a cheap Thursday night out.
Friday Tim and I drove out to my mother's house in Orange Cnty, VA to spend Xmas Eve w/ her and Dan. Surprisingly, 95 S was not a complete mess and we made it out there in record time. And that includes stopping at Pier 1 to get my mom a $20 GC (that was not her only present by the way -- I'm not that cheap). We had a wonderful dinner which included ham, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, brownsugar carrots, and homemade pound cake w/ chocolate chip ice cream for desert. It was so good! Tim and I left mom's around 8:30 that night. When we got home we exchanged presents. We had agreed before the day to only spend $100 dollars on each other b/c of the expense of the house and EVERYTHING else that we're constantly paying for (does it ever end??). I got him a 5-disc DVD player (we're not ghetto anymore - no more using the playstation for dvds) and a Pink Floyd DVD. I was pleased w/ what he got me -- nothing fancy but all good nonetheless: Lerner GC, Target GC, Borders GC, and 2 music DVDs -(can you see the theme here) White Stripes & Queen.
Saturday we picked up Tim's brother and headed down to Richmond to visit w/ his family. I really like that side of his family they're really sweet and very interesting to talk too. His uncle whom I had never met (separated from aunt until recently - ie back in the picture) is a regionally famous artist. His specialty includes paintings of the Chesapeake Bay. He's also one of the founding members of the "Save the Bay" Organization and was commissioned by the White House to Paint a Portrait of "Christmas at the Capital" - or something like that. Tim owns some of his uncle's paintings (inheritance from his folks) so we have almost all of them up and hanging around our house. I tend to gravitate more towards abstracts when I look at art but his uncle's painting are beautiful. This is interesting, the Cheney's recently bought a painting from Josh, Tim's cousin, uncle aboves son. Although I'm not a fan of this administration, I can overlook that fact to say "that's pretty cool".
That was my weekend. I'm looking forward to New Year's but we don't have any concrete plans yet. I'm hoping that we can get some people together and go up to the State Theater to see Israel Vibration -- a Regae band. I've never seen them before but Tim says that they are great. I don't want to spend a fortune but I do want to do SOMETHING. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.
Gotta Run - its lunchtime!

Christmas Christmas Why Have you Left??

2004-12-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Christmas has come and gone already! (I'll chat about what Tim and I did at some later point) Or more importantly, I can't believe that I am back @ work already. I took yesterday (Monday 27th) off so that I could enjoy a nice long 4 day weekend. At first I was felt guilty about taking a vacation day to basically do nothing. But as it turned out I went to Ikea (www.ikea.com) and shopped around for several hours and bought some stuff for the house. I was really happy w/ my purchases and didn't spend a ton of money. Thank God -- my wallet appreciated it!
The rundown:
small bookcase
2 small red boxes (I'm going w/ a gray/black/white/dark grey theme in the living room)
red vase
fridge magnets
clock for upstairs bathroom
2 large picture frames
2 small picture frames
4 white cereal bowls
batteries
and um um um...I think there was something else but I can't remember. Anyway, that's a ton of stuff and I only spent $90. I'm pleased. I'm finally doing some more decorating to the house. I sort of start and stop. I guess it depends on my inspiration at the time. I've designated Jan-March as months to really do some home-improvements. I figure that way I'll be able to really enjoy my summer and not have to worry about doing anything major (keep your fingers crossed) w/ the house. I just want to be able to get outside and take long walks and **get exercise**. I've totally been slacking in that department. Ugh, I just can't seem to find the strength these days. I know that I've gained at least 5 pounds this holiday season. After the New Year I will definitely get back on board w/ Cardio. I can't allow myself to be lazy. For one thing I don't want to feel/be gross and for another I can't afford to buy more clothing! That was always the worst about gaining weight -- all of the extra money spent on clothing. I honestly went into serious debt in college trying to keep my growing mass clothed (stylishly of course). Definitely do not want to return to those days EVER!
Well, work calls. Happy Tuesday to anyone who might read! :-)